Business
Top 20 Wendy’s Twitter Roasts
Who is she? Where did she come from? Why does she make square burgers? And why in the world is she so savage? Wendy’s is the sole face behind a worldwide conspiracy aimed at openly taking down unassuming targets one by one, some even larger than itself. Its arsenal is always loaded, ever-ready for its next victim. And its medium? Twitter. So get ready ready your empty plates, because we’rve got Wendy’s top 20 roasts. Dinner is served.
20. McDonald’s or friendly neighborhood trash can?
Taking potshots at fast food chains that are better, bigger, and richer than you is lowbrow in all contexts. But Wendy’s doesn’t care, and the fact that Wendy’s doesn’t care means that we don’t care, because we’re all secretly scared of Wendy’s. All she has to do is twirl her red plaits and half-smile at us and we’re running in the opposite direction of the four-foot tall beast.
And that’s probably how McDonald’s sees her too. So far, in spite of Wendy’s constantly taking down the Golden Arches on social media, and even one pronouncedly unfriendly advertisement, Mickey D’s hasn’t responded. Not even once. Is this because it thinks it’s better than Wendy’s? (Don’t tell her I said that.) No, it’s because McDonald’s must save face. In a mountain of its own pink slime and foreign-objects-in-food, McDonald’s can’t do with another social media disaster. So while one fast food giant lets it pass, the other makes the most out of it. Relentlessly. On the daily. Wendy’s hasn’t even gotten started.
19. Wendy’s Maps
Car-luh messed with the wrong Wendy on 3rd January. She thought she could troll her by giving her a taste of her own medicine, but she was gravely mistaken. Wendy’s, instead, took Car-luh out. For dinner. At the nearest Wendy’s. And with its excellent assortment of hamburgers and biscuits, we rest assured that Car-luh wasn’t disappointed.
18. Free Advice
She even dispenses relationship advice. Given, it is just as savage as her tweets of all other nature, but if you ask a fast food chain to help you with your dating life, you’re at the tail-end of your game anyway, as Wendy’s so intelligently points out. A more intelligent approach would be to talk to a relationship coach, maybe even communicate with your girlfriend yourself (which clearly was lesser-preferred than asking a hamburger restaurant) but it’s Twitter, and it’s free, and well, it’s Wendy’s. How can one resist?
17. No one is spared – not even In-n-Out
The regional burger chain, so far below Wendy’s on the fast food chain ladder (ha, chain ladder), too is under immediate threat of Wendy’s fired shots, and she doesn’t even have to. Wendy’s doles out burns only because she can. That being said, is anyone truly an In-N-Out fan? Although the burger chain is much older than Wendy’s, In-N-Out doesn’t care. Sometimes, you really have to ask, who really is the insane mastermind behind her Twitter handle? Because we’re both frightened – and excited – to know.
16. Who are you, Wendy’s?
Never mind, question answered. Whether an arcane cartoon reference or just general Wendy’s-level dilly-dallying, she always knows how to keep the conversation going. So what if she identifies as three dogs and sells square beef? We dig it.
15. She doesn’t cut corners
Speaking of which. Did you know that Wendy’s holds the record for most square burgers ever sold? That’s because it’s the only large fast-food chain that sells square burgers. That’s right. Not only is Wendy’s paving the way for novel-shaped food items in a store near you, but she’s also dry-heating handles on Twitter. Talk about multi-faceted.
14. Her Beef with Frozen Beef
Is it nitpicking if you call out a competitor for freezing its food when you place your own just a few inches under the freezer? It may even be a tad hypocritical (while frozen veggies and fruits are generally as healthy as their unfrozen counterparts, the jury is still out on frozen processed meat, jk LOL it’s unhealthy.) Additionally, Wendy’s isn’t exactly the holy grail for healthy food-keeping. Its hall of fame for failures (The 99 cents menu, its Superbar from the ‘90s, foreign-objects-in-food-galore, its deceitfully appetizing pictures) is just as sprawling as its more successful rivals. Its goody-two-shoes-roast-you-on-Twitter image falters at the seams when you consider all of this, but I’m not one to complain. I’m just here to eat my Baconator and relish the entertainment.
13. She’s Self-Aware
Wendy’s is roasting you while explaining that she roasts you. Wendy’s is, by her next-level intelligence itself, a notch above all fast-food restaurants. But she also knows just how next-level she is. When your PR depends on your ability to wittily insult your customers on the internet, and every tweet you tweet makes headlines (mostly on Buzzfeed and those forgettable websites that appear on Google when you search ‘How to Make Scrambled Eggs’), you know you’re closely watched, and maybe even revered. You don’t need deals on Black Friday to sell hot steaks like hot steaks.
12. Burger “King” No More
Wendy’s just wiped off the 50-year old creepy smile on Burger King’s mascot with a simple tweet. But of course, it was only sure, maybe even to the messer, that messing with Wendy’s by calling BK better than it would lead to a definitive dethroning tweet. Wendy’s can make messers become messees without even a blink. Royalty or not, Burger King lost its crown on the 4th of January, 2017.
11. Movie Reference + BK Diss
Let’s recap real quick: So tweeter wants to take Wendy’s on a date to Burger King (ahem, if we’re talking about the mascot and not the fast-food chain, then, to begin with, you’re already most likely banned from being within 100 feet of a location that may contain children), then Burger King calls Wendy’s a princess, and Wendy’s uses a Disney movie reference (containing princesses and frozen kingdoms) to destroy BK for freezing its beef. All within two hours. If this isn’t social media connecting people, then I don’t know what is.
10. Subway Confusion
She knows exactly what she’s doing. This is why none of her competitors touch her on social media platforms with six-inch/footlong poles, and those that do, well, they essentially turn into ash. Here, on display, is Wendy’s quick-witted ability to diss a competing restaurant chain by not even acknowledging its existence. Yes, subways are good for underground transportation. Nothing wrong with that. Wendy’s humor has layers, nuance, a whole backstory. Subway looked down, rubbed its eyes, and shook its head to itself in shame this day. If dissing an innocent restaurant that only wants to feed its customers healthy veggie-based food in long buns was your job, well, good job, Wendy’s. Good job.
9. Goodbye, Dignity
So McDonald’s has made a lot of mistakes, right? Its first folly is honestly just having a Twitter account (it’s a giant enough, it doesn’t need a Twitter account that constantly hosts gaffe-ridden fodder for scavenging competitors like Wendy’s), and not to mention its frequent PR fails, tens of disastrous menu items, its unhealthy food, and global instances of terrible customer service (but if you’re looking for a healthy dose of McD dissing, you’re reading the wrong article). But when it accidentally posted a tweet meant for its internal Twitter admins, Wendy’s pounced on the chance to savagely insult the Golden Arches by dragging its ice-cream machines into the tussle. She spares nothing and no one.
8. Wendy’s or Your Girlfriend
This is how we imagine Wendy’s Twitter admins: They first stand on each other, one dog’s legs over the other’s shoulders, cover themselves in a trench coat, and snicker as they scroll through all the tweets from voluntary scapegoats that add ‘@Wendys’ to their tweets just to ask for a roast. They then pick worthy tributes (such as this poor guy that had to dump his girlfriend because, well, Wendy’s said so, of course) and chuckle their way through one witty rebuttal after another.
7. Direct Diss
To truly do justice to the diss in this tweet, we’ll need a Venn diagram. McDonald’s ambiguity is so obvious it’s almost laughable, and Wendy’s barely takes two hours to discover its gaping flaw and fills it in with a good dose of logic. If McDonald’s can mess around and claim, vaguely, that all of its burgers at a ‘majority’ of its restaurants will be cooked with fresh beef, then why should Wendy’s play any easier? So, diss it did. McDonald’s obviously had nothing to say back. In any case, the failure of its tweet amongst the Twitter crowd spoke for itself (See the number of likes and RTs). What is even more hilarious is that Wendy’s has a friend that eats at McDonald’s – kind of digging yourself into a hole there, aren’t you?
6. Losing a Bet
Wendy’s will lose bets just to roast you. She clearly doesn’t care enough to follow all of her fans (especially the tributes that love being the butts of her jokes), but when you go asking her to follow you, it’s a given that you’re going to be let down. e tan (Would you follow him?) most definitely was let down. And is it just us, or are you noticing a pattern too? Wendy’s tweets seem to be at their prime roasting best around National Roast Day (January 4th). Does she exit her lair to practice her witty one-liner abilities on a seasonal basis, or does the universe just like to arrange events that way? I guess we’ll never know.
5. She has game
Wendy’s is so versatile, she can floor you and market herself at the same time. That’s the thing about Wendy’s Twitter account, it’s the least product-related marketing stunt that’s been successful in a long, long time. And yet, in spite of the almost absent connection between 90% of her tweets and the fast food chain itself, for some reason, we’re all more endeared by the brand the next day. As earlier said, there are layers to Wendy’s humor, all thinly-veiled, but definitely not obvious until you have a Premium Fish Fillet sandwich a week from now and you’re laughing at the pure sugar sachets next to the Wendy’s coffee machine.
4. BK had it coming
As I mentioned 39 times already, you just don’t mess with Wendy’s. Especially when she didn’t mess with you first. What was just a simple ad to acknowledge that Wendy’s now has a 4 for $4 menu (which wasn’t half bad, by the way), was also BK’s attempt to trump Wendy’s with a 5 for $4 menu (Imagination was always BK’s ace in the hole), which Wendy’s casually thwarted, as if she was dismissing the whole travesty with a wave of her hand. She’s firing back with edible food, which is almost as true as it is comical. Burger King’s food quality has been dwindling over the years, and the retort was a no-brainer. And Wendy’s food quality? Well, that’s for another article.
3. National Roast Day
America’s National Roast Day falls on January 4th, and the queen of all roasts takes to social media to strengthen what is already a massive foothold in the roasting industry. To Wendy’s January 4th is just another day, another dollar. But to us, it is a day to cherish the barrage of tear-inducing laughter that the fast food restaurant has provided us over the years. The theme for 2018? Beef, and beefs with rivals. The theme for 2019? Tributes allowing themselves to be roasted.
2. The homegrown natural burger
Wendy’s can call out on idiots any time of the day, but it takes a special kind of stupid to think square hamburgers are ‘artificial’. What does that even mean? Was he going for unconventional? In any case, Wendy’s clapback was efficient and incredibly funny. Either that or @CooperDFranklin knows about a whole new kind of natural hamburger we’re just not acquainted with.
1. The Ads
Roasts on social media are definitely interesting, but spending millions of dollars to take down your competition on TV (with a Superbowl Ad, no less) is downright savage. Superbowl LII was an ad-filled fiesta, as all Superbowls go, but unsuspecting football fans were subjected to Wendy’s very public beef with McDonald’s beef for a whole thirty seconds. Wendy’s again aired another later in the year, posted on its Twitter page as well, to call out McDonald’s once more for its flash-frozen beef (beef frozen so rapidly that it doesn’t form ice crystals) and how tastier Wendy’s beef is. The Golden Arches, though, as always, did not care to respond.
It’s fair to say that Wendy’s has its customer retention strategies down pat. And for the many tributes standing in line to get roasted yet again by the Frosty-selling behemoth, we wish them luck, because they’ll need it. There’s no topping Wendy’s.