“Wubba lubba dub dub!” Rick and Morty is quite possibly the most quotable show on television. It is TV’s answer to Anchorman, with a brilliant one-liner every thirty seconds that’s more ridiculous, absurdist, and outrageously hilarious than the last. You can use the show’s quotes in everyday life to create memes, or maybe just to think about and laugh at when you’re feeling down. It’s one of the best shows on TV right now, and let’s hope it goes on for a long, long time. Just like Rick himself said, “Rick and Morty time. All day long, forever. All 100 days. Rick and Morty forever 100 times. Over and over, rickandmortyadventures.com. All 100 years. Every minute, rickandmorty.com.” Hopefully he’s right and the show does go on for 100 years. It’s got two terrific seasons under its belt already, the second somehow managing to outdo the first and the trajectory only looking to continue that way for the years to come. With season 3 finally set to premiere on Adult Swim in a couple of weeks on July 30, let’s take a look back at the fifteen most hilarious, heartstring-tugging, or otherwise brilliant quotes from the most mind-bending, black-comic, and thought-provoking show on television.
15. “Weddings are basically just funerals with cake.” – Rick
Some people would agree with this, while some would not. But what’s interesting is that the ones who would disagree are wide-eyed, young, naive lovebirds who think that marriage is the answer to everything. Those people spend their twenties searching for ‘the one’ and make a big deal about proposals and love and weddings and marriage. Or newlyweds, who still think that marriage is something great and the beginning of their life and everything. But the interesting thing is that the ones who would agree with Rick are the ones who have been married for a long time and have seen where marriage leads you. They’ve experienced the sadness and the anguish and the resentment and the frustration of a long marriage. In short, they’re basically people like Rick.
14. “Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet or you gonna freak out and start worshipping us?” – Rick
There are a few intergalactic civilizations who treat Rick like he’s some kind of god-like figure, one of which exists under his hood and powers his car. Rick treats this with nowhere near the gravity it deserves to be treated with, because he deals with this kind of monumental situation every day of his life, so it’s no big deal for him. This quote is from the season 2 episode “Look Who’s Purging Now,” which is easily the most disturbing and graphically violent episode of the entire series. Rick has promised us in the trailer for season 3 that this year’s adventures will be their darkest yet, but they’ll have to get real dark if they want to top “Look Who’s Purging Now” on the darkness scale. However, there’s no doubt that Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon will be able to top themselves – they’ve done it before!
13. “It’s funny to say they are small…it’s funny to say they are big.” – Shrimply Pibbles
In the season 2 episode “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate,” Jerry is asked by alien doctors to donate his human penis to make a replacement heart for Shrimply Pibbles, a kind of intergalactic Martin Luther King times a thousand. During the interaction, as Jerry hesitates, Pibbles, voiced by Werner Herzog (seriously, how did they get Werner Herzog to do that episode?), sums up the whole of human culture. “I’ve dwelt among the humans. Their entire culture is built around their penises. It’s funny to say they are small…it’s funny to say they are big. I’ve been at parties where humans held bottles, pencils, thermoses in front of themselves and called out, ‘Hey, look at me. I’m Mr. So-and-So Dick. I’ve got such-and-such for a penis.’ I never saw it fail to get a laugh.” Neither did I, Mr. Herzog.
12. “Well, just fuck it, call him Pichael.” – Pichael Thompson
Pichael Thompson has some issues. He’s the host of Cooking Things on interdimensional cable television and is also the other half of Michael Thompson, the host of Opposite News. There’s a bit of sibling rivalry going on, to say the least. So, why do they shoot their shows at the same time, you might ask? Well, because it saves a lot of money on production, that’s why. But is it worth it, when he hates his brother so much? He’s jealous of him, because, according to Pichael, “he’s got a normal name!” Pichael explains this: “You could tell our parents started with naming with him. It’s like, ‘Oh, Michael.’ They had that one planned before they even got pregnant, I bet. And then they found out I was attached along for the ride and they said, ‘Ah, shit. Well, just fuck it, call him Pichael.’” Genius.
11. “Also, I can’t feel anything either, did I mention that?” – Ants in My Eyes Johnson
This little snippet sticks out, but Ants in My Eyes Johnson’s entire commercial is worthy of note. In the ad, he says, “I’m Ants in My Eyes Johnson here at Ants in My Eyes Johnson’s Electronics! I mean, there’s so many ants in my eyes! And there’s so many TVs! Microwaves! Radios, I think! I can’t…I’m not 100 percent sure what we have here in stock, because I can’t see anything! Our prices, I hope, aren’t too low! Check out this refrigerator! Only $200! What about this microwave? Only $100, that’s fair! I’m Ants in My Eyes Johnson! Everything’s black! I can’t see a thing! And also, I can’t feel anything either, did I mention that? But that’s not as catchy as having ants in your eyes, so…that always goes…y’know, off by the wayside. I can’t feel, it’s a very rare disease, all my se— all my nerves, they don’t allow for the sensation of touch! So, I never know what’s going on! Am I standing, sitting? I don’t know!” Hysterical.
10. “Jesus Christ, Beth, is Jerry 50?” – Rick
This quote is a classic example of when Justin Roiland (the voice actor who plays both Rick and Morty, and created the show, and writes a lot of it) gets into the recording studio with one line and then starts rolling with it and improvising and something completely unrelated yet hilarious comes out in the end. It’s from the season 2 episode “Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate.” It starts off with Jerry in an alien hospital being treated and Beth says, “We’re worried about Jerry.” And then Rick’s comeback is, “Well, you’re 39 years too late.” But then Roiland keeps on going to give it that signature Rick Sanchez flair. “Or, you know, however old he is. Is he…is he 50? Jesus Christ, Beth, is…is Jerry 50?” It’s just Roiland taking a great line to the next level, Rick and Morty-style.
9. “The factory tint setting is always too high!” – Jerry
This quote is technically uttered by various different versions of Jerry from various different dimensions, since they all think alike, so for the purposes of this list, let’s simply quote our one. It’s from the episode “Mortynight Run,” which is titled similarly to the classic action comedy movie Midnight Run starring Robert De Niro and Charles Grodin in a cross-country thrill-ride. The episode has a plot akin to the movie, with Rick and Morty transporting a fugitive, Fart, across the galaxy. The movie itself also comes into play as all the Jerrys at Jerryboree (the daycare center the Council of Ricks set up for Ricks from all over the universe to drop off their Jerrys during adventures) sit down to watch it with the woman in the Beth costume (Jerry’s too gullible to know the difference). And she lets him adjust the settings on the TV for optimum viewing experience. Every man’s dream!
8. “And that’s the WA-A-A-AY the news goes.” – Rick
In “Total Rickall,” amid all the fake flashbacks that the alien parasites are embedding into the Smith family’s memories, there’s a quickly cut montage of Rick’s catchphrases after Morty says, “He does have a lot of weird, made-up sounding catchphrases,” after they all start to doubt the reality of Rick, thinking maybe he’s a parasite. Here’s all the catchphrases Rick utters in the totally fabricated compilation: “Wubba lubba dub dub! Ricky Ticky Tavi, BE-YOTCH! And that’s the WA-A-A-AY the news goes. Hit the sack, Jack. Uh-oh, somersault jump! AIDS! And that’s why I always say, ‘Shum shum shlippedy dop!’ GRA-A-A-ASS…tastes bad-ah. No jumpin’ in the sewer. Burger time! Rubber baby buggy bumpers! Lick-lick-lick my balls!” Apparently he says that one “all the time.”
7. “Stop saying it like it’s a thing!” – Morty
“Get Schwifty” is a great episode of Rick and Morty. It takes a concept from our world – song contests like Eurovision – and puts it on an intergalactic scale. That’s what most Rick and Morty episodes do, and it’s the basis of the show (and probably why it’s so damn popular). Rick and Morty combine forces with Ice-T to write “Get Schwifty,” the catchiest song ever for the contest, but Morty starts to get annoyed with it. While the human race is out building cults and religions around the giant heads floating in the sky, Morty’s stuck jamming with Rick and Ice-T in a recording studio. Rick explains to Morty, “I try to shelter you from certain realities, Morty, ‘cause if I let you make me nervous, then we can’t…get schwifty.” Then Morty gets frustrated and tells Rick, “Stop saying it like it’s a thing! You made it up!” True, but it is a thing now!
6. “I’m Tiny Rick!” – Tiny Rick
In one of season 2’s best episodes (and that’s saying something), “Big Trouble in Little Sanchez,” Rick transfers his consciousness into a younger body, enrols in Morty and Summer’s high school, and starts calling himself Tiny Rick. He spends a lot of the episode going around high school and saying, “I’m Tiny Rick!” or some variation of it like, “Tiny Rick, motherfuckers!” or simply, “Tiny Rick!” The episode takes an ominous turn (as pretty much every episode of the show does at one point or another) when the old Rick is filtering subtle cries for help through Tiny Rick’s creativity, and he’s not as happy and positive as he seems. But in the end, Morty and Summer save him, and it’s a sweet ending that shows they care about him.
5. “Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody’s gonna die. Come watch TV.” – Morty
A melancholic statement that really makes you philosophically think about the life you’re living and the world you’re living it in is not uncommon for an episode of Rick and Morty. But perhaps the biggest existential gut punch of the whole series is delivered in the season 1 episode “Rixty Minutes” by Morty as he explains to his sister Summer that in the backyard are a pair of graves containing the charred remains of that dimension’s versions of Rick and Morty. That incident changed Morty, and he realized how little life matters and how quickly it can drastically change. His four powerful sentences here put everything into perspective. Take it easy and watch TV because you could very easily be blown to smithereens in the blink of an eye, and you might not have the privilege of being able to bury yourself and go on living a slightly alternate life. Powerful stuff for an animated comedy about interdimensional adventures and fart jokes.
4. “God’s turning people into insect monsters, Beth. I’m the one beating them to death. Thank me.” – Jerry
Are you a devout Christian who wonders why some people don’t love God as much as you do? Well, Jerry, in his own weird way, has answered that question for you. At a time of crisis in the season 1 episode “Rick Potion No. 9”, when Rick accidentally made everyone on Earth into a bunch of Cronenbergs, Jerry saved Beth’s life and she said, “Thank God!” Then Jerry explained that God is the one making people into Cronenbergs and he’s the one killing them, so she shouldn’t thank God; she should thank him instead. That’s it, really. God is always “turning people into insect monsters” in one way or another, whether it’s giving people disabilities or creating earthquakes. It’s the people who are overcoming the curses set on them by God, finding strength in their disabilities or going into disaster zones to find survivors and helping shelter them. The insect monster infestation is a ridiculous situation, but it symbolizes all the terrible things God does that we as humans have to overcome. As Jerry points out, Christians have it backwards.
3. “I’m sorry, but your opinion means very little to me.” – Rick
Haven’t we all thought this about somebody before? We all have those people in our lives who we really don’t care what they think. For Rick Sanchez, those people just happen to be his family. Rick Sanchez is a character who is known to be a cynical jackass, and he epitomizes that in this particular line. He’s totally contemptuous toward pretty much everyone else in the human race due to their lower IQs. The tragic thing is that he pushes away anyone who’s not as intelligent as him, and yet no one is as intelligent as him. It’s sad, really, if you think about it. What’s great about this quote is that you can use it pretty much every single day of your life. Screw everyone else and their opinions.
2. “I’m Mr. Crowbar, and this is my friend, who is also a crowbar.” – Jerry
This is Jerry’s attempt at an Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone-esque action hero quip. Obviously it’s not as smooth as one of theirs, nor does it make as much sense, but that’s what makes it so hilarious. Every couple of words there’s another joke within this one joke. For starters, he refers to himself as Mr. Crowbar, simply because a crowbar is his weapon. And then he refers to the crowbar as his friend, which is weird. Then, to top it all off, he says that this friend is “also a crowbar.” So, is Jerry saying that he himself is a crowbar? It’s just a hysterical line showing just how little Jerry thinks through the asinine things he says.
1. “Wubba lubba dub dub!” – Rick
Of course this is number one! It’s Rick’s catchy catchphrase! This is arguably the most quotable line in the show, since it’s applicable to pretty much all situations. Rick uses it whenever he’s happy or whenever he cracks a joke, and so can you! He uses it all the time. He uses it in the episodes “Meeseeks and Destroy”, “Raising Gazorpazorp”, “Something Ricked This Way Comes”, “Close Rick-counters of the Rick Kind”, “Ricksy Business”, “Total Rickall”, and “Big Trouble In Little Sanchez.” It’s the most repeated line on the show. And there’s an element of tragedy, as revealed to Morty by Birdperson. In Birdperson’s language, “Wubba lubba dub dub” means “I am in great pain, please help me.” Rick may have a brash, loud-mouthed, uncaring exterior, but he has a deep emotional core. He’s depressed, he’s ailing from his alcoholism, and ultimately, he is a tragic figure.