The nineties was the pinnacle decade of the automotive industry. Not! (If you did not get that, then you weren’t a nineties kid) Generally speaking, car companies went crazy in the nineties. This was the time of Nirvana and The Spice Girls, crazy! This was the time of Macarena and MC Hammer, crazy! This was the time of James Cameron’s Titanic and Madonna’s Evita, crazy! It was the decade of crazy pop-culture Budweiser commercials, the frogs and of course, wazzaaa! It was the crazy decade of alternative rock bands, Live, Bush, Blind Melon, 4-Non-Blondes, there were hundreds of them! It was the last decade of the century and everybody got scared of the Y2K bug! The second half of the decade closed in music with the rise of boy bands and girl groups led by the Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, NSync, All Saints, and Boyzone.
That was a rollercoaster ride of a decade, the nineties! On the subject of rides, the craziness with cars was tagged and packaged as embracing sophistication and thinking outside the box. There were cars that were eyesores and just hard to explain, describe and understand. There were some that are elegant and timeless, and then there were some that should have been trashed the moment they were made. Here are ten garbage cars for obvious and some other trashy reasons, whatever! (don’t even pretend to get that last bit, Ms. Silverstone!)
10. Kia Pride
Who would have thought that a company producing bicycles and steel tubing will later evolve into a company producing automobiles? Kia Motor Company is a South Korean company that did just that. In 1944 when the company was founded, its name was Kyungsung Precision Industry. The car company specializes in sedans, luxury cars, and light trucks or commercial vehicles. But back in 1944, before the “Pride”, their pride was the bicycle called Samchully. It was the Schwinn of South Korea and the country’s first domestic bicycle. In 1998, Kia entered a co-acquisition with Hyundai Motor Company, the other big car company in Korea.
To brand a car with such a name is kind of courageous. The Kia Pride is a small subcompact car sold from the late eighties until 2000. It is the legit car of the nineties. The problem with the Kia Pride is that it’s the reverse DeLorean. It’s a car from the past that traveled to the future. It’s like when you shrink to subcompact size a box-type sedan. It’s so bad that in the past when people see a Kia Pride taxicab, they let it pass by and hail the next one. This car was so bad that some people would rather choose to be seen on a Samchully rather than in a Kia Pride.
9. Porsche 996 (911 series)
When we think of bad cars in the nineties, or any decade, we might not think that a car company like Porsche would produce a car that could be considered garbage. It’s hard to find a decent used Porsche that’s less than $20,000, that’s how expensive they are. The cheapest Porsche one can buy is the second Porsche car in this article, we can read all about it later. A Porsche in this list must have something really wrong with it, but in this case, it isn’t that bad. It’s just the worst car ever released by Porsche in their top of the line 911 series cars. The Porsche 966 is that ugliest Kardashian the paparazzi is oblivious to. The Porsche 996 is Chris Kirkpatrick of NSync.
It’s not entirely Porsche 996’s fault. The car is beautiful, don’t take this the wrong way. It just reminded people of a car much worse than it. The Porsche 996 is designed and made to look like a Porsche Boxster, a Porsche that’s the bane of the company. It was so bad that people are reluctant to try out the new Porsche 996 just because of its resemblance to the Boxster. And then there’s the water cooling system that’s been an issue with this series. The ugliest out of the pretty ones is not a good thing, that just means it’s the best-looking trash in the garbage can.
8. Ford Probe
Ford took all the unusual things you see in sedans and slapped it onto one car, the Ford Probe. But this is not the worst thing about the Ford Probe, not even close. We’d just like to have fun with it first. Hatchbacks are cars that have that liftback door, usually at the rear. This is useful for SUVs, as it creates more space. The Ford Probe is not a spacious car, the point of the liftback door is not exactly appreciated, it just added weight to the car. The next is the pop-up headlight, this is just Ford’s way of making the Probe more expensive-looking. It is just another mechanical headache waiting to happen.
The 1994 Ford Probe was the worst car Ford released in the nineties. The interior was not as good as one would expect to be from Ford, and the engine has quite a lot of issues. It’s notorious for stalling while idle and has that annoying ticking noise you cannot ignore. The engine could overheat faster than usual, and it burns oil. There were reports of full throttle issues, hesitation, and the biggest annoying problem is that it only starts when it wants to. Hahaha! We’re sure not all For Probe’s have their own minds, but if you got stuck with that one in the past, poor you.
7. Subaru SVX
Subaru is a Japan-based company, it is one of the biggest car manufacturing companies in Japan. The company name is Subaru Corporation and it was founded in 1953 by Chikuhei Nakajima and was then known as Nakajima Aircraft Company. They were making airplanes before they transitioned to cars, that’s kind of amazing. After two or three company restructurings, some acquisitions, name changes, and one big company re-make from flying machines to automobiles, the company is now Subaru Corporation. The best Subaru cars of all time are the 2002 Subaru Baja, the 1989 Subaru Legacy, the 1997 Subaru Forester, and the 1992 Subaru Impreza WRX. Notice the last two cars are from the nineties, well they should have stopped there. They made a mistake putting the Subaru from concept or display to production.
Legendary car designer Giorgetto Giugiaro was the one who designed the Subaru SVX, that’s why Subaru chose to produce the car, it had a good response from the public, mainly because of Giugiaro. The car had a weird window-in-a-window window system, Subaru sophisticatedly called it aircraft-inspired glass-to-glass canopy. All it was really, was some obstacle to paying the toll and getting the drive-in food from that darn silly window.
6. Volkswagen Golf Harlequin
Volkswagen is a German automobile manufacturing company with main offices in Wolfsburg, Germany. It was founded in 1937 and has since been producing automobiles for people worldwide. They are the great manufacturers of perhaps the most popular car in the world, the Volkswagen Beetle. Volkswagen in German means people’s car. Harlequin is a fictional character in DC Comics since 1947. She was created by the American book writer Robert Kanigher. There were 4 versions of Harlequin throughout the years, but the version popular today was the Harley Quinn character created in 1992 with the film version portrayed by Australian actress Margot Robbie in the Will Smith-driven film Suicide Squad shown in 2016.
What happens if you merge the Volkswagen and Harlequin? You get the Volkswagen Golf Harlequin. A subcompact car that does not make any sense visually and aesthetically. This was a VW Golf car they showed in 1995, and crazily played around with the color. What’s more crazy is that they got positive feedback from the car show and produced more than 200 of it for sale. The color would make sense if you saw the newer Harlequin clown (not the comic book character) costumes. If you didn’t, and we’re guessing no one did, the car just looks like it was rescued from the scrapyard and given parts from other cars that fit.
5. Porsche Boxster
Porsche was so popular and kind of expensive for the regular Joe that the company wanted to do something to cater to the lower-income American who wants to drive themselves a Porsche. Enter the Porsche Boxster. It’s a rather beautiful two-seater sports car, or roadster, that was released in the market in 1996. The car was so popular and sold a lot of models, most probably because of how it looked and what the price tag showed. Little do they know, there was a stink under the hood, and it smelled like garbage.
The reality is that the Boxster might have just saved Porsche from going bankrupt or getting acquired. They were in desperate times, so they made desperate measures. The Porsche Boxster is like a bad joke, kind of like an American hotdog made in China..It’s packaged and branded to look like an American product, but if you look closely at the back, you’ll see i small letters, but still legible, made in Taiwan. The Boxster is Porsche on the outside and on paper, but the engine, the parts, and the expensive and quality parts that make a Porsche the Porsche, were made in Cambodia. They really slashed costs every way they can, and the product is the Boxster. There really is no definition for garbage than this, at least it’s Porsche’s garbage. Yeah, your garbage goes from zero to 100kph in seven seconds! Go, garbage, go!
4. Land Rover Discovery II
Land Rover is owned by Jaguar Land Rover Automotive PLC, a multinational automobile manufacturer headquartered and operating from the United Kingdom. The Land Rover Company has been around since 1978, and rights were acquired from the company by Ford before they were sold over to Jaguar. The best-ever produced Land Rovers in the history of the 4WD iconic brand were the 1987 Range Rover, and the 2000 Discovery Series II. Notice the nineties was snubbed on that short list? That’s because that time was hit-and-miss, but mostly misses, for the Land Rover.
Flying driveshafts, cover your eyes and face! Blown head gasket, we’re walking again today! These are just two of the many problems the Land Rover Discovery II have had to wrestle with during the nineties. These problems owners experience got to be too big that the only resolution is to get a new engine. It was real bad, the first two generations of the model was so bad that the company had to seriously think about changing the name of the new generation that they will release. From complicated electronics and a honeypot for “rust-bees”, the Land Rover Discovery II was not a good car in the nineties.
3. Ford Aspire
Ford is the oldest car company in America and ninth oldest in the world. Henry Ford is a name that needs no introduction, he’s done a lot for the world that he should at least be knighted, if that is at all possible. Anyway, he got the Order of the German Eagle and the Elliott Cresson medal. The all-time best ever Ford cars produced were the First Generation Mustang (of course!), the 1908 Model T (historically and “iconically”), the Crown Vic (classic cop car!), the F-Series pick-up truck, the Lincoln Continental, and the Shelby GT350. The Ford Aspire is #1 right on the flipside of the Ford list. It’s a car that CEOs scratch their heads over still, until today.
This car combines the funny and crazy look from the outside, from the people seeing it rolling down in the street, and the actual and overall performance of the car. Okay, the car has dual airbags, that’s gotta count for something. Why would one need airbags if the car can barely accelerate? The car’s so slow they should have put sleeping bags instead. And seriously, the Ford Aspire really looks like a rolling egg, no that’s not accurate, it’s an egg on wheels. If the car’s a different color, then Happy Easter!
2. Pontiac Grand Am
Pontiac was one of the oldest car companies in the world. Founded in the great motor state of Michigan in 1926, it manufactured automobiles and served the American people for more than 80 years. All the while under the direction of the great and powerful General Motors. Pontiac’s name came from the Michigan city where the cars were produced. Pontiac, sadly, after surviving for almost a century, was chapter 11’d by GM in 2010. Pontiac best all-time cars were the 1964 GTO, the 2009 G8 GXP, and of course, Knight Rider!
The Pontiac Grand Am had glaring problems like leaking intake manifold, leaking coolant, intake manifold gasket failure, and a lot more. From the engine not starting, or turning off while driving, to blinking ABS lights and blower fans not working, the Grand Am was a grand headache for most owners. But the worst problems are those felt by even the passengers, that made this car one of the worst in the nineties. Reports said that the dashboard looked like it was made by Mattel, it had a bad build quality, an ugly exterior, and a hideous and cheap interior. There really was nothing good about this car, it’s total garbage.
1. Suzuki X-90
Looking at the Suzuki X-90, it doesn’t look that bad, actually. Oh, wait, forgot the spoiler. Top Gear honored this car by including it in their list of the 13 worst cars in the past 20 years, a feat, not all car companies can achieve. This is really a head-scratcher of a car, folks. But before we get into that, let’s do a little Suzuki history. Suzuki is a multinational corporation based in Japan that manufactures automobiles. The company was founded in 1909, as a loom company (weaving cloth, silk, i.e.). They didn’t make automobiles until the 1960s. In 1990, they changed their name to Suzuki Motor Corporation and is what they are then until now. From a company that started with cloth and silk to motorcycles and boat engines, Suzuki has come a long way and gotten that world experience. Then why make a car so ugly and so “migrainey”? Because when people look at it they get a headache, the neurons and synapses, our brain cannot understand and just shuts down momentarily.
It looks like a subcompact SUV, but the practicality is not present, and the speed and power non-existent, too. It’s front part is too long and too wide, and the back end, we just can’t explain it. This is the question we need to send to Suzuki, what was the spoiler for? You know how bad this car was? The Suzuki X-90 was so bad, you won’t even see it on Suzuki’s official website, not in their automobile history, we checked.