Sad toys. You may have thought there were no such things. Other than let’s say Woody after he sees Andy playing with Buzz for the first time. Now that was a sad toy! But, let’s put Woody’s emotional state aside and look at this top ten list of the saddest toys ever to have been created by Sonic Drive-In.
10. August Is Back To School For The Pack (2001)
A pencil case. The real question with this item on our Top 10 List of Saddest Sonic Drive-In Toys Ever is is it actually a toy? Ask yourself this question right now. Do you consider a pencil case a toy? If you say yes to this rather rhetorical question then you should examine your whole childhood and reconsider raising children of your own because no one wants kids out there who think pencil cases are toys. If you say no, a pencil case is not a toy then you are correct! A pencil case is for school! Yes, pencil cases are awesome and learning is fabulous and everyone should have a pencil case they love to bring to school and be proud of. That being said, the joys of cool pencil cases can never them toys. Furthermore, if you consider a pencil case a toy is that because learning is not taken seriously? Learning is important and a pencil case is like a tool for your learning it is not something you play around with and take lightly! That is certain! So Sonic Drive-In really got it wrong here offering a pencil case as a toy… What were they thinking!?
The Wacky Pack at Sonic Drive-In sure is wacky because one of the signature toys they offer in this pack is a plush tot. They have all kinds of these suckers. Batman Tot, Scooby-Doo Tot, and even a Green Lantern Tot. Why is this sad? Well… these are meant to be little fried potatoes that are dressed up as different things or characters and they are kind of funny looking. Rather than give a proper Batman figure or a Scooby-Doo figurine Sonic Drive-In has changed the shape and made these recognizable figures into rectangular plushy blobs. It is odd. It is slightly disturbing. Each Tot is the same as the last but with a different face. Perhaps this is where the genius actually does appear? Each one looks the same making them recognizable. At least these little Tots have that going for them. They are clearly from a Wacky Pack! There is not a chance they came from a Happy Meal! If you look at it that way then these plush blobs on nothing actually make sense. Maybe these toys are not so sad after all.
8. Dino Tot Triceratops (2011)
This next toy on our list of Top 10 Saddest Sonic Drive-In Toys Ever is the Dino Tot Triceratops. This Tot is sad because it actually looks nothing like the other Tots. Yet, it is also not fully a plush toy either. The Dino Tot Triceratops is a mix between a traditional Tot toy and a regular plush toy. It has 3D facial features, unlike most Tots, making it different than the rest. So, if kids were collecting these Tots and they came upon this one it would upset their set because it does not resemble the rest. So much for consistency within the Tot toys Sonic Drive-In! Your Dino Tot Triceratops looks nothing like its Tot family! Why would they give this one 3D features and the rest keep it flat and sewn or drawn onto the Tot? It just doesn’t make sense! Were they going through different toy distributors at the time? What happened here? Why is the poor old Dino Tot Triceratops so different?
Now, Sonic Drive-In really does need to get their definition of what a toy is straight because this next toy on the list of Top 10 Saddest Sonic Drive-In Toys is not a toy! It is a utensil! Yes, Sonic Drive-In has a whole set of spoons that they give out to kids that they call “toys”. These toys are “spoonsters” and they come in a variety of characters, colors, and varieties. It is fair to say that anything can be a toy as long as you want it to be. All we need to do to understand this is take a look at Forky from Toy Story 4. However, a spoon does not HAVE to be a toy, nor should it be advertised as one. Spoonsters are also a complete fail because they do not look like the best spoons. One side of the spoon is big enough for scooping things up, this is fine, but the other side is all bumpy because of the robot or monster or whatever character face it has on it. This cannot be an enjoyable implement to eat with. So if it is not the best spoon and it is not the best toy then it is just a sad thing in between the two. What Sonic Drive-In needs to learn is that it is okay to make a really great toy and it is also okay to make a really great spoon, but no one needed the in between thing. No one needed a spoonster.
6. Ninja Spoons (2016)
Up next we have the Ninja Spoons. Upon first look you may see no spoon. You may see a knife. Yes, there is what looks like a knife on one end of this toy and a spoon on the other. So, what is the kid supposed to do? Use one side of this utensil to cut and the other to scoop? Kids have a hard enough time eating with a good old fork, now we are going to expect them to use one plastic utensil to do both cutting and scooping? If Sonic Drive-In were to answer and clarify that no, no the other end is just for show we could all reply in horror that that was not clear! This utensil is confusing! Furthermore, is it not supposed to be a toy?! Do they want kids to be playing at eating and not actually eating? Now, the Ninja Spoon is particularly sad because of the year it was created and launched. This is not some old time thing that we can all excuse because maybe they messed it up then, but we know that we would know better now… You know? No, you cannot do that because this toy was in Wacky Packs in 2016! Who in their right mind made this toy in 2016? How we have fallen. How sad is this world that we need to make firstly, a cutlery toy and second, a cutlery toy that is so confusing that kids will be eating wrong for years to come? Maybe these lamentations are a bit dramatic, but still, you get the point. The Ninja Spoon is ridiculous.
5. Lightnin Lizards (1998)
This next Wacky Pack toy is only sad because it is gone and Sonic Drive-In cannot seem to get toy making right in recent years so we must sadly commemorate the good toys that have gone by. In 1998 Sonic Drive-In made Lightnin Lizards. Why do we care? Why are these toys actually cool? Easy, these toys could move! If you flip this Lightnin Lizard over you see a set of wheels. Now, the method of movement is unclear. Perhaps this was a pull back and let go function or you had to add batteries to make it move? It was probably the former, making the toy super easy to use and also extremely fun. This toy reminds us of the simple pleasures in playing. It does not take much to have kids having fun. Can you picture it now… You or your child open up the Wacky Pack to find a Lightnin Lizard… It is placed on the table and pulled back by little chubby hands and let go… Zoom! It flies across the table and onto the floor, where it is then picked up and placed back onto the table. Play and repeat. Play and repeat. So fun! This is a very different Wacky Pack toy experience than… Let’s say… a spoon. No? The other neat thing about these Lightnin Lizards is that you immediately want to collect them all. Kids meals and the toys that come in them are probably the first place children learn that collecting is key and if you have everything you are clearly the winner. Perhaps this is where all of the hoarding issues start? Hmmm… That is a more intense and depressing thought for another time. What needs to be taken and remembered here is that Sonic Drive-In did not always have sad toys. Sometimes… just sometimes… they had gems. We must sadly remember them and what joy must have been had during their hay day. Lightnin Lizards, may you return one day and continue to bring joy to kids and adults alike!
4. Atomic Straws (2009)
So the trend to stop using straws is relatively new. More and more bars and restaurants are changing their straws from plastic to cardboard or agave straws and some are even using reusable straws. While using these newer kinds of straws at fast food joints can be tough there must be a way to reduce the number of plastic straws coming being produced. One way you do NOT reduce the number of plastic straws is by making them collectable in a kid’s meal. Did Sonic Drive-In really think a set of collectable straws were a good idea? What, are kids bringing them to school in their lunch box? Kids would rather collect toys! Not straws! Want to bet most of these ended up in the garbage just like any other straw out there? These Wacky Pack straws were not very different from any other straw other than they had a piece of plastic something attached to the top… Making drinking from them challenging. If you need to push your straw down to the bottom of the glass to reach the end of your milkshake of whatever then you may have to pop off the plastic toy thing. If that is even possible. Either way this straw was not a smart or practical or even fun toy to give in a kid’s meal at a fast food joint. This is a sad, sad fail.
3. Speak in Spanish, Too Decks (2005)
This next item on the list of Top Ten Saddest Sonic Drive-In Toys Ever is the Speak in Spanish, Too Deck. Learning new languages is actually super fun and a great way to expand your horizons as an individual. This item is sad because it is gone. It is sad because it was limited to Spanish. It is sad because it is not really a toy… but we can let that pass here because it is educational. The problem with Sonic Drive-In is that they are not consistent. Every year they should be releasing a “Speak … Too, Deck” Just insert another language and there you go! The flash card format makes learning easy and fun. Having a clip on the flash cars also makes the learning portable! Just clip the deck onto your backpack and you are ready to go! The Speak Spanish, Too Deck was also great because it could be used right away. The key to having a good kid’s meal toy is its ability to be used and played with. This certainly was usable. We sadly miss the language cards. The closest they have come to adding to this set was the Speak Around the World set in 2009, but those didn’t stick around either.
2. Sonic Drink Buddies (2011)
The Sonic Drink Buddies are little figurines that are placed onto the cup when drinking. This is a meal accessory no one needed. They are extra pieces of plastic that have a useless function that kind of look like toys but are not really toys. Once again it must be said that kinds have a hard enough time sitting still to drink from a cup or glass properly and now they are expected to clip a figurine onto their cup and keep it there? For what purpose? Fun? Hmmm… Maybe this would be fun for like two minutes, but then after that it is just boring. The name is also rather illicit is it not? Hey! Mom! Look at me drinking with my sonic drink buddy! Sounds like little the kid is out having shots at a space themed bar and met a friend who has had one too many and thinks he lives in the Jetsons. No?
1. Red Button Magnets (2019)
Red. Button. Magnets. Let’s break down this toy word by word. Red is a cool color, okay this isn’t so bad. Button. Well, buttons are hard to do up when you are a kid. Zippers are clearly way more fun to use and therefore cooler. Magnets. Woah! Magnets are super neat because if you have a magnet and you are putting it next to something magnetic then it pulls it to the magnet and they stick together! Science rocks! But… the magnet in the Wacky Pack and the science magnet are not at all the same thing. The magnet in the Wacky Pack is the kind you stick on the fridge. Big whoop. Some people do ont even have fridges that are magnetic anymore! Many many families have been following the trend to cover their fridge in the same wood as their cupboards. So that is an issue. That would mean the kids would come home to stick their Red Button Magnets on what? The washing machine? Maybe the microwave? If they can even reach that… Red Button Magnets are not cool because they are personified button figures on a fridge magnet. This is not a toy! You cannot play with this! Why is Sonic Drive-In continually making toys that are not toys? Toys are not that hard to come by… Take a look at the Lightnin Lizard. That was a good toy! But, this… A button!? As a magnet? Why? Who came up with this? Really… Whoever thought this up does not have kids. But, then you also have to take into consideration it takes more than one person to make a whole line of toys that will be then made and packaged and shipped and sold. Someone along the way must have seen this as a bad idea? Right? Also, this was made in 2019!!!!! What kind of 2019 kid is like “Woo Hoo! A Button Magnet!”?