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Top 10 Foods You Should Never Microwave

Having the ability to reheat things is super dope but it does not mean that you should actually be reheating everything. Here is our list of the Top 10 Foods You Should Never Microwave.

10. Pasta Sauce

One of the foods you should not be putting in the microwave though it is often oh so tempting is pasta sauce. Usually pasta sauce is pretty think. This makes it yummy for some of us, yes, but it also makes it more difficult for particles to move around. Why does that matter? Well, when particles have a hard time moving around in the case of reheating in a microwave then they are unable to do their job of heating well. Steam and pressure will then build up in the sauce and that is what causes the little pops and cracks and explosions that occur when you do heat sauce in the microwave. So, if you want to avoid having to clean your microwave again and again then don’t heat up your pasta sauce in the microwave! Also, if you want your pasta sauce to be heated consistently, then do not heat the pasta sauce in the microwave. Easy peasy!

9. Processed Meats

Processed meats are usually full of chemicals to begin with. They are one of the food items that contribute to higher cholesterol and have a direct link to heart disease. Now, everything is moderation is pretty okay for us so enjoy your processed meats. It will be fine. What is not super great though is reheating those processed meats in the microwave. By reheating the already high in chemical item you enable the chemicals to multiply and play around in the food. So, the preservatives that were in the meat which are already not that good for you get even worse. For example, let’s say you had a subway sandwich and it was so yummy but you bought the twelve inch instead of the six and you never ended up eating the whole thing and you get home and you think “Hey, I want to eat the rest of my sandwich!” but you realize the cheese is no longer melted and wonderful so you pop that sandwich on a plate and put it in the microwave. What you are doing here is totally understandable. We have all been in this situation or one kind of like it. But, we should not be doing this! Instead we should put the sandwich into the oven or even on the stove top. Hey, if you are feeling invested in the reheating of the sandwich you could even BBQ that sucker. Microwaving it though would mean there could be a formation of cholesterol oxidation products (also known as COPs) which are bad bad bad for us. Do put the odds in your favor to survive. Don’t do silly things. Don’t microwave processed meats it really just isn’t worth it.

8. Puff Pastry

Oh the French know how to make a good pastry… Don’t they? Think about a warm croissant. Crispy on the outside and warm on the inside. Flaky. Buttery. Delicious. Now, think about a pain au chocolat (basically the croissant with the chocolate inside). Think about how magnificent the pain au chocolat is. Tastes like magic. Buttery magic. When you bite down you everything comes together and melts in your mouth. Now that you have this mental image and perhaps are even experiencing some sense memory and you are salivating and remembering the last time you ate a puff pastry and as considering when and who and where you can go and get some today consider what would happen if you microwaved one of these scrumptious delights. Sadness is what would happen. As you microwave your croissants or most pastries for that matter, something all too familiar happens. It loses it’s flaky, crispy and simply delicious outer shell. The moisture and steam that builds up while microwaving a pastry item seeps into the outer shell and takes away from the best part of a pastry, that perfectly flaky exterior, now limp and soggy. But not all hope is not lost, as you can simply spend a bit of extra time re-heating your croissants or pastries in the oven to rejuvenate that crispy, flakey outside shell, just skip the microwave.

7. Hot Peppers

This is not a joke. If you reheat a spicy pepper in the microwave the chemicals that make the spicy peppers spicy get released into the air. Let’s hear that again so you really understand. The spice gets released into the air. Spicy air is not something pleasant. Really. You may think this is funny. You may think this is a good prank. Yeah – why not try this on your brother or your sister for April Fool’s day? No! Think again! Spicy air is horrible. You may think you will be crying because you are laughing so hard when you prank someone with the spicy air trick. No, you will be crying because the spicy air has gotten into your eyes and burnt them – or rather – spiced them! You will start coughing. You will have trouble breathing. Spicy air is real and it is not funny. This is not a drill. This no gag. This is a serious thing to avoid. Spicy air. Do not prank your sister. Do not prank you brother. Do not prank your dad and please do not prank your mom. Microwaving any pepper is cause for panic. Now, this goes for just popping a pepper into the microwave and hitting the start button. That being said it also goes for peppers that are in foods. You may think that a pepper is in a food and will therefore no longer want to release its spicy air, but you are wrong. Obviously the spicy air would be much much less if the pepper is in a dish that is already put together and mixed up. There are other foods and things to distract you and the pepper from the spicy air. When a pepper is in something it is also usually in the thing in a small quantity. So, it is unlikely you will suffer from spicy air hardships if you heat something with may contain a bit of spicy pepper. But, again, if you were to microwave a bowl of full peppers – or even worse – a bowl full of peppers that are cut in half and opened then beware! You and your loved ones could suffer the horrors of spicy air. It would be worse than spending a night in Hill House. Or worse than the thought of sitting through the movie Cats or worse than watching your parents smooch. Worse worse worse worse. Got it?

6. Water

The next item on our list of Foods You Should Never Microwave is water. Doesn’t this make you want to throw your microwave away?! Why even have it if you can’t even heat up a simple thing like water? Well, you can totally use your microwave for plenty of stuff but water is not one of them and that should be okay with you. Here is the reason why you can’t be heating up water in the microwave: it gets too hot. What? Really? Yes, really it goes too hot and it can burn you! When water is heated in the microwave in a glass or even in a ceramic mug bubbles can be prevented from forming. Bubbles forming and popping in water when it boils is essential! The bubbles pop and release some of the heat which causes the liquid to cool down. If you have no bubbles then the liquid will not cool down in the same way, hence, you can burn yourself! You can actually use the microwave to heat water if you are willing to only heat the water to a tepid or warm kind of temperature. Tepid and warm is fine! Hot is not! Just use a kettle folks. Just use a kettle.

5. Chinese Take Out Containers

Chinese take-out is yummy yummy yummy and the chances that you have left overs are pretty high… reheating your Chinese food in the microwave should be totally cool except if you do it in the take-out box. Why? Well, the take-out boxes usually have a metal handle and boy oh boy metal in the microwave is no good! The smallest amount of metal in a microwave can start fires. You would know this right away. The metal would spark and you may even hear little pops and cracks. We are typically pretty good at knowing the whole “no metal in the microwave” thing but when it comes to Chinese take-out we all may forget. When we order Chinese food it is usually because we are not in the mood to cook. Even when we are reheating we want to avoid cooking. Chinese take-out usually just needs to get into our bellies as fast as possible. But, don’t go too fast that you forget to move the food from the take-out container to an actual plate or bowl.

4. Rice

You should not be microwaving rice. What? Really? Apparently if you microwave rice you could get food poisoning. Say what?! Yes, this is very surprising to all of us. Here is what seems to be the problem with microwaving rice. Rice can have tons of bacteria in it to begin with. When you cook rice in the microwave, the heat being produced is not enough to kill off said bacteria. So essential it all stays in the rice and parties. The bacteria is happy and thriving but obviously your body will not and does not like this. Don’t’ let the bacteria party in your body. Best way to cook rice is in a rice cooker or on the stove top. Should you need to reheat your rice then do it on the stove top or in the oven. Kill the bacteria rice party. Shut it down. Run it out of town. Don’t let it into your scared body! You deserve better!

3. Eggs

If you are thinking that you can hard boil an egg in the microwave then think again. If you try to hard boil and egg in the microwave what you will get is a big mess that is hard to clean up. Eggs cannot be hard boiled in the microwave because the shell creates a barrier and the heat that builds up in the egg has nowhere to escape to. So bam! Explosions happen. Think about the mess. Really, take a second to think about the smelly mess that will ensue. Will you clean it up? You know you will have to because if not that smell will persist and then the egg will harden and get crusty and the whole thing will become even worse than it already was. Eggs and microwaves are a no go. That really means not only hard boiled eggs. Any egg in the microwave ends up gross. A scrambled egg in the microwave will not explode or anything dramatic like that but it is just icky. Eggs should be eaten right away if they are cracked open and cooked. There are some obvious exceptions like an egg salad sandwich. But, an egg salad sandwich doesn’t need to be reheated and has so many other things in it anyway… Anyway, don’t really use the microwave for your eggs. Especially for the hard boiled eggs.

2. Kale

If you want to make kale chips because you think they will make you cooler, you saw a Gwyneth Paltrow Goop thing and want to be more green, or you actually just like them then don’t be making them in the microwave. Other than the fact that they won’t “chip-up” correctly they also may cause little sparks to fly in the microwave. Not love sparks between potential kale chip mates. No, no, real sparks. Though the sparks are small and do not seems to be that harmful they are hurting your microwave. That is right, your microwave can get damaged and eventually need replacing. It may seem like an indestructible appliance but oh boy it is not. Sparks like the little ones that fly around when kale is in the microwave happen to some raw fruits and veggies. Kale is rich in iron and even water and is a great little charge for electricity. Tiny sparks will fly when the conditions are just right and kale in the microwave is one of those just right conditions. Not to mention that if you microwave kale you will not get the kale product you were hoping for at the end of the day so don’t put kale in the microwave! This is not good for you microwave and it is not good for the food you are planning on making! It is a lose/lose situation.

1. Grapes Cut In Half

If you know about this little trick then you have probably been the reason your family needed to buy a new microwave. Or maybe two or three new microwaves. If you do not know about the grape cut in half and put into the microwave trick then woah – hold on to your pants, take a seat, remember to breath and great ready to hear about something so cool and so wild you will think you have missed out on a whole part of your childhood for not knowing about this. Ready? Here goes: when you cut a grape in half and put it into the microwave sparks fly between the two halves. The special spherical shape of the grape, the grape’s water content, and the waxy peel cause the energy emitted from the microwave to get trapped. The energy is then building up or “charging” by using the electrolytes in the little grape halves and circulating through the skin on the grape. But then the skin begins to burn up and long story short you get plasma. That is right. Plasma, right there at home in your microwave. This can obviously ruin the microwave and cause a fire. What is really cool is when the grape shoots up an explosion of the fiery plasma. This happens sometimes and can leave the top of the microwave blackened and burnt. Isn’t that so crazy?! If you were one of the ones who did not know about this then you are obviously wanting to try it. Just ask yourself if it is worth it. You will have to buy a new microwave. You will. You really will. So don’t try it if you are not willing to part with your microwave. Also, hello… you can just go check it out on YouTube. Save your grapes and save your microwaves the harm inflicted upon them due to the creation of homemade plasma. Ha! How many times have you ever heard that before… homemade plasma. Go figure!

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