Entertainment
Top 10 Disgusting Junk Food FAILS
From Oreo cookies to Hot Pockets, everyone has their favorite when the munchies come calling. However, in their attempts to stay on top of the ball, some companies have gone just a bit too far with their creations. Here are the Top 10 Disgusting Junk Food Fails.
10. Swedish Fish Flavored Oreos
Oreos are one of the most popular cookies in the world, and for good reason! These cookies consist of two chocolate wafers with a sweet creme filling, and they taste even better when dipped in milk! So when photos of Oreo’s new Swedish Fish flavor leaked online, people were disbelieving. However, it’s true, this gummy-meets-chocolate-cookie mashup is 100% real. Packaged in its classic blue, these cookies hit the shelves of Kroger stores in 2016. These cookies consist of the brand’s classic chocolate wafers, sandwiching a firetruck-red filling that’s supposed to taste like, you guessed it, Swedish Fish. In other words, the waxy, fruity-flavored gummies that one would assume wouldn’t go well with any sort of chocolate flavor at all. If you’re wondering why this is a thing to begin with, you’re not alone. Many food critics were quick to jump on this, questioning the point of this novelty snack. It’s been described as sticky, chewy, and, unfortunately, slimy. Even though Oreo has experimented with fruity flavors before – Key Lime Pie, Fruit Punch, and Watermelon – this one really hits it out of the park as far as interesting combinations go. One would think that this cherry-flavor gummy would make this Oreo taste like something similar to a chocolate-covered cherry, but the reviews are mixed. Some believe it to be as tasty as the company claims. Others believe that it’s an abomination and should be avoided at all costs. Even though these were only available for a limited amount of time, there are still packs being sold on places such as Amazon and eBay. Go ahead – be brave and give them a try.
9. Hubba Bubba Bubble Jug
This bright-pink monstrosity was a hit with kids everywhere. If you were around back in the 90s, you may remember children and teenagers walking around carrying this hot fuschia jug. It was filled to the brim with powdered gum, and you could walk around pouring this pink powder into your mouth like it was no one’s business. The reason that this product was so popular was because it looked cool to throw your head back and let the powdered sweets fall into your mouth – and kids love looking cool! So when it was released, it became an instant hit. However, the reason it’s on this list is because it’s actually pretty gross if you think about it. Essentially, you’re just pouring pink sand directly into your mouth. And while it came in different flavors – Orange Crush and Grape – it didn’t even taste that good. And do we really want to be encouraging kids to be consuming this much processed food? While, logically speaking, this snack wasn’t the greatest, it’s sure to bring a nostalgic feeling to all 90s kids. It was so popular, in fact, that there’s now a petition to bring this sweet treat back from the grave! A jug of Hubba Bubba would be the perfect official sponsor for Throwback Thursdays.
8. Reese’s Trees
Every year, the holidays come around. Every year, we spend time with our families and tell each other stories and enjoy a meal together. And every year, companies release more and more themed products in an attempt to profit off of our good spirits. Reese’s isn’t exempt from this, as every year, they put out their Reese’s Trees. It’s like clockwork. And while it’s a nice idea to begin with – each one is supposed to be shaped like a season-appropriate Christmas tree – they’ve unfortunately missed the mark with this one. Why? Well, there’s no polite way to say this, but Reese’s Trees look like poop. Just straight up poop. It’s the Christmas present that the family dog left under the tree on Christmas morning. The thing is, this isn’t anything new. This company has been producing Reese’s Trees since 1993, and there are tweets dating back to 2011 about the unfortunate shape of this chocolatey snack. In 2015, there was a flurry of news coverage surrounding this, where news stations such as CNN and the Huffington Post even wrote about it! So if anything was going to change, they would’ve changed it by now. Reese’s is well aware of the reputation their product has garnered, and it’s become part of their marketing, utilizing the hashtag, #alltreesarebeautiful. Yeah, okay Reese’s. We respect the sentiment. And since these actually taste pretty good, maybe we’ll let you get away with it for a little while longer.
7. Soda Flavored Pop-Tarts
Pop-Tarts were first introduced to the market in 1964, and they’ve come a long way since then. Back in the day, they only came in four classic flavors: strawberry, blueberry, brown sugar-cinnamon, and apple currant. But now, in the age of Cheetos and potato chips and a slew of other unhealthy snacks, is it really any surprise that they would experiment a bit with their flavor palette? In 2016, Pop-Tarts announced that they would be introducing some soda-liscious products. Pop-Tarts? More like Soda-Pop Tarts. Unfunny puns aside, this was a real product. They announced two new flavors – A&W Root Beer and Crush Orange – and instantly, people were curious. When it comes to food mashups, there’s a way to do them right, and there’s a way to do them wrong. In this case, many people agree, Soda Flavored Pop-Tarts fall into the latter category. While many companies strive to strip their breakfast offerings of artificial ingredients and preservatives, in this case, Pop-Tarts did the exact opposite. And when they were taste-tested, opinions were rather low. One customer claimed that this microwavable pastry tastes like shortbread and orange soda made a baby, and not in a good way. Another customer simply said that it was revolting. And apparently the rootbeer flavored one isn’t much better – some state it smells exactly like a can of the brown liquid. Not the brown root beer inside, but the can itself. Customers claim that it tastes better before being toasted, which seems to defeat the purpose of a Pop-Tart entirely, but no matter. We would suggest that you steer clear of these if you don’t want your tastebuds to be offended.
6. Coca-Cola Blak
Coca-Cola Blak was introduced in 2006 and discontinued in 2008, and we have to wonder why it took so long for them to pull it off of shelves. This was a coffee-flavored version of the popular classic soda, and no, we don’t know why they chose to do this, either. Back in the day, when this was first released, it flopped pretty magnificently. Coca-Cola representatives say that it was a trend before its time, and that people just weren’t ready for this extra caffeinated drink. But it seems as though times have changed. Thanks to evolving trends and palates, the company now believes that the public is ready. So in 2019, Coca-Cola announced that they would be launching a very similar product to Coca-Cola Blak. Over the past few years, Coca-Cola has been releasing products such as Coca-Cola Plus Coffee or Coca-Cola With Coffee into international markets, and it seems as though it hasn’t flopped yet. In fact, it’s been doing surprsingly well. This new and improved recipe contains even more real coffee than the original Coca-Cola Blak ever did, and it’s much more caffeinated than regular Coke. The company is considering bringing this new product to North American markets, stating that they’re optimistic about the potential of the beverage. Well, it certainly has some shock value to it, which apparently helps with sales as well! If we ever have to stay up late writing a midterm or working on our taxes, we’ll know exactly who to turn to!
5. Frito-Lay WOW Chips
People love junk food, and they love the idea that you can magically lose weight overnight even more. In 1998, Frito-Lay introduced WOW Chips, fat-free chips made with Olestra. If you’re not familiar with it, Olestra’s molecules act as a laxative if you eat too much of it. So, at first-glance, olestra looks like a dieter’s dream. It tastes just like fat, but its molecules are too big to be digested by the body, meaning that it passes through your digestive system without being absorbed. Unfortunately, this means that it also worked as a laxative, and stomach cramps and diarrhea prevailed. Upon its first release, sales came in at a whopping $347 million, making it the best-selling new product in the US that year. But, after the media storm following the unfortunate side-effects, sales dropped to around $200 million. Big surprise there. In 2004, WOW Chips were quietly renamed ‘Light’ products, and while there are rumors that their recipe got a revamp, there’s no confirmation regarding this, and it still lists olestra as one of the ingredients. Even though it’s fat-free, it’s not worth the hours spent in agony.
4. Canned Cheeseburger
When word hit the internet that a German camping-supplies company was marketing a canned cheeseburger, people around the globe were a little more than curious. They wondered: could this possibly be any good? The short answer is no. The longer answer is also no. Advertised as aromatic, with soft-melting Chester cheese wrapping around the burger patty made from 100% beef. It claims that hearty sweet onions, fruity tomato slices and a tasty ketchup round off the taste and keep the burger beautifully juicy. They say that this splendid combination is held between two fluffy-bite burger rolls. Freshly prepared and sealed directly in the tin, it’s guaranteed that the CheeseBurger keeps its unique flavor and aroma for a long time. One has to say: Simply “burgertastic”, and it’s best before date is 2029! But alas, is it really burgertastic? According to the instructions, the canned burger goes like this: you toss the unopened can into a double-boiler and heat it for ten minutes. It should be noted that you would be able to grill a hamburger in less time it takes to make this, and while we understand that this was meant for camping, the majority of people who tried it did it from the comfort of their own homes. The label comes off pretty quick, and floats around your double-boiler unappetizingly. When it’s done and you manage to fish it out of the boiling water, you open it and are shocked by the complete lack of anything that could be remotely considered good eating. According to customers, it tastes like a poor quality veggie-burger, with unsweetened, rank ketchup that’s overwhelming. Really, just not something you would want to have anywhere near your mouth. So if your stocking up your bunker, make sure to cross this one off of the list of things to buy.
3. McDonald’s Hula Burger
McDonald’s is one of the most recognizable brands in all of the world. Anyone from any country would recognize those majestic glowing golden arches. Over the years, they’ve tried many many times to bring all kinds of new burgers to our attention. And while some of these were successful, others… Not so much. Take, for example, the Hula burger. The company decided that they wanted to cater to those who don’t eat meat on certain days for religious reasons, and in an attempt to appeal to everyone, they replaced their famous patty with a chunk of grilled pineapple. In other words, it’s a cheese-covered pineapple surrounded by a bun. This was released in the 1960s, by Ray Kroc, the man who made McDonald’s what it is today, and Ray… We have some questions. For example, why would you pick a pineapple? Why not a mushroom or eggplant, which have been proven to actually work out okay? And for goodness sake, why would you put cheese on it? Do you want your customers to suffer that much? While it may have had good intentions behind it, it’s unsurprising that this burger flopped as hard as it did. It was greatly overshadowed by the filet-o-fish, which, like its counterpart, Catholics could eat on Fridays, and, unlike its counterpart, actually tastes pretty good.
2. Creamy White Finishing Sauce
While there are many foods out there that are delicious, there are some things that can make them a tad unappetizing. Most notably, their names. So, no matter how yummy something is when you eat it, the names of the products can turn customers away from even buying it to begin with. This is the case with Creamy White Finishing Sauce, produced by MasterFoods. While this innuendo was most definitely an innocent mistake, we have to wonder…. Did none of them think, just for a moment, what other things this could be referring to? No? They definitely should’ve thought about this one a little harder before going on with the packaging and advertising, because we have a feeling they’ve lost a lot of potential customers. This finishing sauce is actually used in a lot of different recipes, and the customers that did pick it up seem to enjoy it, so it’s a shame that they couldn’t think of anything else to call it. There are literally hundreds of other possible names…hundreds.
1. Canned Whole Chicken
If you thought that food companies had learned their lesson after the whole canned cheeseburger fiasco, then you would be wrong. And if you’re wondering if this is a joke, we can assure you that unfortunately, it’s not. Whole canned chickens are a real product, and they’re a little nightmarish. Have you ever wanted to see a can give birth to an entire chicken before? No? Well, too bad! Once the chicken slides out into the pan that you have prepared, you’re left staring at a pile of jiggling, congealed goop. We have to say, it sounds pretty fowl (get it…). The chicken itself is preserved in water, with a little bit of salt. The instructions say to chill it before you cook it, but, unsurprisingly, the bird found inside is pretty tasteless. According to one critic, it tasted like all the flavor had been cooked out of it. The next time you want to prepare some chicken for dinner, take a pass on the whole canned chicken thing. Surely, it’s not worth having to watch the gelatinous mass slide out of its can.