Entertainment
Top 10 Discontinued Food Items We Miss (Part 8)
Ah, discontinued food items. The bane of every food lover’s existence. It’s heartbreaking when your favorite food items are no longer available. You never know when it’s going to happen, and not even the most popular, most delicious food items are immune. We don’t always know why certain food items get discontinued, but sometimes it seems like food companies are doing it to spite us. Especially when you stop and consider how many old favorites have been lost over time. We could go on for days about all the discontinued food items we miss, but, for the sake of time, we’ll keep it to ten. So, sit back and prepare for things to get a little nostalgic – we might have unearthed some forgotten gems from your childhood.
10. Froot Loops Straws
While we could go on and on about discontinued cereals, Froot Loops isn’t one of them. It’s probably safe to say that this is one cereal that’ll be produced until the end of time. Whether dry or with milk, it’s a favorite breakfast (or snack or lunch or dinner) for many. Its enduring popularity has led to the creation of several derivative products, one of them being Froot Loop Straws. These six-inch straws had an outer layer of Froot Loops cereal and an inner layer of a white, sugary coating. The original colors were orange, red, yellow, and green – just like the cereal, they were inspired by. While some chose to eat Froot Loops Straws as is, most used them as straws to drink milk and proceeded to eat them afterward. The idea behind these straws was that they would flavor the milk to taste like the cereal. While a bowl of Froot Loops is amazing in and of itself, the best part is always that mouthful of sweetened milk leftover at the bottom of the bowl. That’s the flavor they were hoping to attain with Froot Loops Straws. All in all, these straws are basically just more exciting Froot Loops. We’re sad that we can no longer enjoy our favorite cereal in such an entertaining way. A bowl of cereal just looks boring to us now.
9. Flavor Blasted Jalapeño Cheese Goldfish
All the cool kids in elementary school had a Ziploc bag of Goldfish crackers as their recess snack. The snack that smiles back has been in circulation since 1962 (although the smile was only added in 1997), with new takes on the original cheddar flavor being released with frequency over the years. Whether you prefer sweet or salty, with Goldfish, there’s something for everyone to enjoy. While the original flavor will always reign supreme, we can’t say we haven’t dabbled in some other flavors as well. One of them being Flavor Blasted Jalapeño Cheese. This is but one of the many, many varieties of Goldfish in the Flavor Blasted lineup, which is a subset of Goldfish that supposedly took the flavor to a whole other level. The crackers in this lineup were said to be far tastier and more delicious than the original varieties, which were more subdued. Most of the Flavor Blasted Goldfish, like Xplosive Pizza and Bursting BBQ, are still available today, but, unfortunately, Jalapeño Cheese got the axe. Pepperidge Farms, why do you do these things to us? The extra flavor boost given to the Flavor Blasted Goldfish really elevated this particular flavor – it was just the right combination of cheesy and spicy. Truly, the perfect food to snack on.
8. Full Throttle Coffee Energy Drink
In 2004, the Full Throttle Energy Drink brand hit shelves courtesy of Coca-Cola. In 2015, the company struck a deal with Monster Energy to transfer to them the ownership of all their energy drinks – including Full Throttle. Even if you’re not a fan of energy drinks, it would be impressive if you made it through the early 2000s without learning about Monster. With thirty-four drinks to its name, the Monster brand was first introduced in 2002. While Full Throttle Energy Drink and several of its variants are still around today, the Full Throttle Coffee line has, unfortunately, been discontinued. You may have heard of Monster’s Java line or Rockstar’s Roasted line. Full Throttle Coffee was, essentially, the same as those. Luckily for us, Monster’s and Rockstar’s coffee drinks are still around, so we don’t have to go without that extreme caffeine boost. Full Throttle Coffee was sold in cans, just like the energy drink itself, and came in three flavors: Caramel, Vanilla, and Mocha. Its tagline was “Coffee. Fully Charged.” This drink undoubtedly got many a student through finals season while they spent nights cramming in the library. As such, we can assume that there are many people out there who are forever grateful for this caffeine-loaded beverage. We mourn the loss of this great drink but are very, very grateful that we have alternatives to turn to.
7. Giggles Cookies
We’re not going to lie to you. These cookies are a thing of nightmares. It’s a good thing they tasted so good, because, if not, we’d be celebrating their discontinuation. Giggles Cookies were like Oreos in that they were made up of two thin cookies with a filling in between. The cookies themselves were shortbread, either chocolate or vanilla, and the filling was a fudge and vanilla flavored. Yes, you heard correctly. The cookies were filled with both chocolate and vanilla cream. It was truly the best of both worlds. As delicious as these cookies sound, they were discontinued about ten years after their release in the early eighties. Of course, the reason these cookies are so memorable isn’t how delicious they were. It’s far more superficial. The top cookie of this delectable cookie sandwich was distinctive because it was designed to look like a giggling face. Hence the name of the cookies and hence the nightmares. Giggles Cookies were pretty popular throughout the eighties but, as time went on, the excitement about them started to wane. While these cookies have been out of circulation for quite some time, we’re still on the lookout for any other brands that combine two flavors of filling in one delicious cookie. Oreo, please get us a chocolate and vanilla cream filling, stat.
6. Pepsi Vanilla
Coca-Cola released a vanilla version of their famous soft drink in 2002 (which was discontinued in 2005 but relaunched in 2007). In response, PepsiCo came out with one of their own. Pepsi Vanilla launched in 2003, but it was not to last. Coca-Cola Vanilla continues to be produced to this day, and it seems like there was only room for one vanilla soft drink on the market. Pepsi and Coke have their own respective (and very large) fanbases, and, while some say the drinks are identical, there are many who consider that kind of thinking blasphemous. Therefore, telling hardcore fans of Pepsi Vanilla to simply replace the discontinued beverage with Coca-Cola Vanilla is out of the question. But, for those of you who don’t feel as strongly about the topic, we just wanted to let you know that there is, in fact, another vanilla soft drink out there. Pepsi Vanilla didn’t do nearly as well as expected. It actually only lasted three years, from 2003 to 2006. Oddly enough, while Pepsi Vanilla was discontinued, its Diet counterpart endured. While the sugar-free version isn’t exactly the same, it’s still something. In 2010, Pepsi released Cherry Vanilla Pepsi as a replacement for their regular Pepsi Vanilla. This beverage was available for a limited time only throughout the summer of 2010 and brought back for Valentine’s Day 2016. Pepsi has a lot of great flavors but, we have to admit, we really wish Pepsi Vanilla would make a comeback.
5. Gremlins Cereal
Don’t get them wet. Don’t expose them to bright light. Don’t feed them after midnight. These are the golden rules of caring for Gremlins, the furry little creatures of the 1984 film, Gremlins. Ironically, Gremlins Cereal made for the perfect midnight snack. This Ralston cereal was released as a tie-in for the movie and, as a result, was discontinued when the film stopped showing in theaters. Though it was short-lived, this cereal definitely left a lasting impression on consumers. In fact, fans voted it one of the top cereals of the eighties! However, a reason for the cereals’ demise, other than the end of the movie’s theatrical run, could’ve been its lack of originality. This cereal tasted really good… which is no surprise, as its flavor and texture were almost identical to that of Cap’n Crunch, one of the most beloved cereals out there. Naturally, people were more inclined to turn to Cap’n Crunch over Gremlins cereal, as it was already well-established as an old favorite. Although, Gremlins Cereal did have a lot of really good things going for it, especially when it came to appealing to younger audiences. Though they looked more like teddy bears than anything else, the cereal pieces were actually shaped like Gremlins which, we must admit, was pretty cute. Additionally, the boxes came with a bunch of great promotions. There was always a free sticker included and, with eleven available in total, kids were encouraged to collect them all. Not only that but on the back of the box there was a mail order form to buy a plush Gremlin toy. This toy, named Gizmo like the character in the movie, cost only $9.95 and was a major selling point for children who loved the film.
4. Jell-O Pudding Bites
Jell-O is a timeless dessert. It’s variations, on the other hand, haven’t stood the test of time nearly as well. Not to call anyone out specifically but… Jell-O Pudding Bites, we’re looking at you. Jell-O pudding is delicious, so we get why they’d want to try and expand on its success. And, to be perfectly honest, these bite-sized candies were awesome. It’s just too bad that they didn’t get the appreciation they deserved. This gummy candy did have its critics, some of whom are expressing their distaste for the snack quite vocally on online forums, but the number of websites petitioning for Pudding Bites’ return is proof enough that it had quite the fanbase in its day. Pudding Bites were commonly bought in boxes with mixed flavors, such as Vanilla and Chocolate or Vanilla and Strawberry, but you could buy a box of exclusively the Chocolate flavor as well. These gummy candies made for a great way to satisfy your sweet tooth craving, be it as an afterschool snack or a midnight treat. Many people have tried their hand at recreating Jell-O Pudding Bites since their discontinuation but, while their attempts were impressive, no one has been able to capture the artificial goodness of the real thing. Of course, if you do find yourself in the midst of an oddly specific craving for this candy from your childhood, a quick Google search will bring up tons of recipes. Feel free to take a shot at making your own. Honestly, the DIY versions are probably much healthier anyways.
3. Keebler Magic Middles
For ten glorious years, we were blessed with Keebler Magic Middles. This fantastic shortbread cookie came in two flavors, Original and Peanut Butter. The former was filled with chocolate fudge, the latter with peanut butter. We were incredibly upset to hear of the product’s discontinuation in 2011. The reasoning given by Keebler was that they required the equipment used in the manufacturing of Magic Middles to make other, more profitable food items. Despite the fact that these cookies were discontinued nearly two decades ago, consumers continue to hold out hope that they may someday return. Several Facebook pages have been dedicated to petitioning Keebler to restart their production. While Oreos have long held the number one spot when it comes to pairing a cookie with a glass of milk, Magic Middles were a close second. This was especially true of the chocolate fudge-filled Original variety. There was nothing quite like dunking one of these cookies in a tall glass of milk. It’s definitely easy to get overly nostalgic about Magic Middles, so let’s cut this trip down memory lane short before it gets too emotional.
2. OK Soda
Coca-Cola’s OK Soda was the humble soft drink. Instead of proclaiming itself the next hit beverage, it simply promised to be “OK.” The point of this was to reach consumers who didn’t like advertising and who were fed up by being manipulated by the media. Which is really ironic when you think about it, but also quite clever. The ambivalent connotation of the word “OK” furthered the “edgy” aesthetic of the can. It seemed that Coca-Cola was trying to lean into the grunge phase of the early nineties. After Nirvana dropped their revolutionary hit “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” which kicked off alternative music’s immense popularity throughout the decade. The can’s neo-noir design, dark sketches, and bold letters appeared like an attempt at capturing the punk style of the times, thereby keeping up with the popular trends. Coca-Cola even came up with an OK Soda manifesto. Additionally, the word “OK” is one of the most recognizable in the world among speakers of all languages. This allowed Coca-Cola to reach a large audience in the international market as well. But, too bad for them, the never got to test the effect of that particular marketing strategy. Due to poor sales in the testing phase, the product was discontinued before its domestic release, let alone its international release. The inception of OK Soda came about in 1993 and its production was ceased in 1995. It’s a shame that, after all the effort went into crafting such an interesting marketing campaign, this drink never really even got a chance. Surprisingly, after its discontinuation, OK Soda garnered a cult following. So, while it’s gone, it’s not forgotten.
1. Pop-Tarts Crunch Cereal
Pop-Tarts are still beloved by many, their popularity today is nothing compared to how popular they were in the nineties. Despite that decade being their shining moment, this jam-filled pastry has been around since 1964. After hearing about all these discontinued food items, most of which were discontinued after rather short periods of time, it’s quite impressive to see a food item that’s endured for so long. Since Pop-Tarts were faring so well in the nineties, in 1994, Kellogg’s decided to try their hand at a new variation of the snack food. They created a brand-new cereal called Pop-Tarts Crunch. The cereal came in both frosted strawberry and brown sugar cinnamon, with each piece designed to look like a miniature Pop-Tart. Naturally, Pop-Tart Crunch was a huge success. Why was it discontinued? No one really knows. What we do know is that no one is very happy about it. However, we have some good news for you. Fans of Pop-Tart Crunch will be delighted to hear that Kellogg’s has announced that the cereal is being relaunched in 2019. The two original flavors will be making a comeback, and Kellogg’s has promised that the cereal will deliver both “filling and frosting in every bite!” It’s slowly being reintegrated into the cereal market, with the first stop being Wal-Mart. So, if you were a fan of this cereal back in the day, take this opportunity to head over to your local Wal-Mart and rediscover this breakfast food from your youth. Hopefully, you take this good news as a reminder not to give up on your old favorites. You never know what food items might make a comeback. Next time, it might be one of your long-lost favorites.