Entertainment
Top 10 Discontinued Food Items We Miss (Part 14)
If you’re in the mood to reminisce, you’ve come to the right place. Everyone has foods from their childhood that seem impossible to find these days. We’re often left wondering if we fabricated those memories ourselves. That’s probably not the case. Odds are, the food item you’re thinking of was just discontinued years ago. Hopefully this list will shed some light on that. Here are ten more discontinued food items we miss. Which ones do you remember?
10. WWF Ice Cream Bars
Back in the days of low-rise jeans and girl bands, when the WWE was still the WWF, these ice cream bars were the go-to dessert of wrestling fans everywhere. About as subtle as wrestling itself, WWF Ice Cream Bars came in a box emblazoned with the slogan “Taste the Bars of the Superstars!” Stamped into the cookie exterior of each individual bar was the name and image of one of the hottest wrestlers of the time. There was Hulkster, the Million Dollar Man, Macho Man, among others. While the rest of the ice cream sandwich was nothing to turn your nose up at, the themed vanilla wafer was the main draw for many customers. Other than the imprints of various WWF superstars, there wasn’t much that set these ice cream bars a part. Under the vanilla wafer was a thick layer of vanilla ice cream, and a bottom layer of chocolate coating. Once the excitement over the WWF theme wore off, people realized that this frozen dessert wasn’t anything special, and sales began to drop off. This was too bad for diehard wrestling fans, as it’s always fun to have a food item in the theme of something you love.
9. Berry Berry Kix
More often than not, cereals are the target of discontinuation. At this point, it’s a miracle that there are any cereals left. Yet another victim on the long list of discontinued cereals is Berry Berry Kix. Kix is a puffed-grain cereal that has been around since the Great Depression. It’s made it this far, so it’s probably safe to say that the original Kix isn’t going anywhere. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for any of its newer variations. Berry Berry Kix was a fruity spin on the classic cereal which hit grocery store shelves in the nineties. In addition to the spherical puffed corn pieces from the original Kix cereal, Berry Berry Kix contained pink and purple pieces shaped like tiny raspberries and blackberries. Unlike a lot of other cereals out there, Berry Berry Kix managed to taste fruity without being overly sweet. In recent years, General Mills revamped this cereal in a partnership with Nickelodeon. The new boxes of Berry Berry Kix were decorated with characters from the popular kid’s TV show, Paw Patrol. This would have been fine if it were only the box that was changed, but they made the mistake of messing with the cereal itself. Not only did the pieces themselves look different, but the taste just wasn’t the same. All in all, fans of the original Berry Berry Kix were left sorely disappointed. This is the perfect example of how some foods are better left discontinued.
8. Soda-Licious Soda Pop Fruit Snacks
If there’s one candy that will never go out of style, it’s fruit flavored gummy candy. Well, actually, it’s probably chocolate. But fruit flavored gummy candies are a close second. Soda-Licious Soda Pop Fruit Snacks were shaped like soda bottles and came in flavors like Lemon-Lime, Red Punch, and Grape. Soda-Licious took things up a notch by adding a sugary coating to the gummies that fizzed when it came into contact with your tongue, giving you the same sensation you would get from drinking a soft drink. Due to the popularity of this candy in the early nineties, Betty Crocker released a special edition version, in which the candies were flavored to taste like popular soft drinks like Root Beer and Cherry Cola. The Root Beer ones were even shaped like pitchers of Root Beer, which the froth and everything! Both the original and special edition variation of Soda-Licious Fruit Snacks did well at first, but by the end of the decade their popularity started to wane. Before the start of the new millennium, the candy had disappeared completely. It’s sad that this candy, which had a pretty unique concept, wasn’t able to survive in the competitive world of fruit snacks.
7. Yoo-Hoo Candy Bars
The Yoo-Hoo chocolate drink has been around since the tail end of the roaring twenties – nearly a hundred years now. It might look like chocolate milk, but don’t let appearances deceive you. The liquid base of Yoo-Hoo is water, and its flavor comes mainly from high fructose corn syrup and whey. Like any other popular and long-lasting food item, several products have been derived from the original. Of course, none of the Yoo-Hoo variations managed to live up to the legacy of their predecessor, but that’s always how it goes. One of the many Yoo-Hoo products that has cropped up over the years was the Yoo-Hoo candy bar. It was the logical play, since Yoo-Hoo started off as a chocolate drink. A chocolate bar just makes sense. The bar tasted almost identical to the milk chocolate flavored drink, so it was a hit among fans of the beverage. Where this candy bar went, we couldn’t tell you. But it’s disappearance can probably be attributed to the fact that most chocolate lovers would probably choose an authentic chocolate bar over this “chocolate flavored candy bar”. We can’t fault them for that, but it’s too bad that the Yoo-Hoo Candy Bar had to fall prey to comparison and couldn’t be appreciated for what it was in its own right.
6. Life Savers Holes
There are donuts and donut holes, so why not Life Savers and Life Savers Holes? Actually, the better question might be why Life Savers Holes, but we’re not going to go there today. Life Savers are ring-shaped hard candies that come both in mint and various fruit flavors. They get their name from the fact that they bear a resemblance to the life preservers used on boats or by lifeguards at the pool. Life Saver Holes are smaller hard candies in the same size and shape as the holes in the centre of a conventional Life Saver. The brand has expanded a lot since Life Saver’s first appearance in the early twentieth century, and Life Saver Holes was just one of many derivations of the candy to get discontinued over the years. Life Saver holes came in resealable plastic tubes and could be popped like Tic-Tacs. They were sold in peppermint and the traditional five fruit flavors of the original Life Savers, but you could also buy them in Tangerine, Outrageously Fruity, Island Fruits, or Sunshine Fruits packages, each of which contained a variety of different flavors. They were easy to eat on the go and, even though each container held a decent amount of candy, they disappeared quickly.
5. PB Max
Of all the food items on this list, the discontinuation of this candy bar is the one that hurts us the most. The reason behind out outrage is the fact that, up until it got the axe, this candy bar was thriving. And it would’ve kept on doing so, if only the Mars family had better taste. The food item we’re referencing is called PB Max, which was a candy bar that consisted of a whole grain cookie, a whole lot of peanut butter, and a creamy milk chocolate coating. If you grew up in the nineties, you might remember the commercials for PB Max, which listed all the things that PB didn’t stand for, such as piggy banks, polka band, portly ballerina, platinum blonde, penguin black-belt, pig basketball, plow boy, pure bliss, parachuting buffalo, and pink baboon. At the end, it revealed that PB stood for “peanut butter”, which would probably be most people’s first guess – at least, you’d guess it before “parachuting buffalo” or “penguin black-belt”. Like we said, the PB Max candy bar did very well for itself. We’re talking fifty million dollars in sales. Yet, it was discontinued in spite of that. Why, you ask? Well, rumour has it that the Mars family (the same Mars family from which the confectionary, Mars Inc., gets its name) hated peanut butter, and that was enough for them to call for the bar’s discontinuation. We told you it was ridiculous. If that story’s true, that is an impressive level of hatred for peanut butter. A lot of people dislike the spread, but most people would tough that out if it meant turning such a profit. Just think – if the Mars family could appreciate the beautiful combination of chocolate and peanut butter, this chocolate bar might still be around.
4. Tongue Splashers Gum
Whatever your opinion of this Tongue Splashers gum, you have to admit that it deserves serious points for style. A candy like this could only have existed in the nineties. The individually wrapped hard spheres of bubble gum came packaged in a plastic container designed to look like a miniature paint can. The paint can was decorated with bright colors and depicted a cartoon of a mouth with a purple-stained tongue sticking out. Along the bottom of the package was the gum’s slogan, “Paints Your Mouth with a Splash of Color!”. This was the main gimmick of Tongue Splashers Gum, and the reason why its container was made to look like a paint can. This bubble gum would stain your mouth the color of whichever flavor you decided to chew. Each container held a variety of colors and flavors. They were Bleeding Red, Color Me Blue, Orange Crunch, Slime Green, and Slurpin’ Purple. You could buy this bubble gum in packages of several small cans, or you could purchase one large can containing 240 pieces. Either way, running out was never much of a concern! Today, a container of Tongue Splashers Gum is a staple in the collections of those nostalgic for the nineties. Although you can still get your hands on unopened containers online, we wouldn’t recommend trying to chew it. It’s been discontinued for so long; it would probably be more like a jaw breaker than bubble gum.
3. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Cereal
Between the comic books, the cartoon, the action figures, the video games and the movies, it was inevitable that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle logo would eventually get slapped on a cereal box. Named for Italian Renaissance crime-fighting turtles took the world by storm during the eighties and nineties, during which time, its companion cereal gained impressive traction as well. The two main ingredients of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cereal were “ninja nets”, pieces of cereal that looked similar to Chex in the way they were netted, and marshmallows in a wide variety of shapes and colors. Soon after the cereal’s big debut, marshmallows in the shape of pizza slices – the TMNT’s food of choice – were thrown into the mix. Many boxes of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cereal included collectable cards from the 1990 film. Although they might not be worth much in terms of monetary value today, these cards would definitely hold tremendous nostalgic value for many of the franchise’s oldest fans. Trading cards weren’t the only gimmick this cereal had going for it. Many boxes had order forms of the back, which could be filled out and submitted into a raffle where the winner would be awarded with an entire set of TMNT action figures. As if that wasn’t enough, there were also several prizes hidden in many boxes. These included mini comic strips and a packet of something called “green ooze,” which was a sugary topping that you could drizzle on your cereal. Those were great and all, but the most popular prize was the Turtle Bowl, a cereal bowl shaped like a Ninja Turtle. While this cereal was widely available in the United States, it was nearly impossible to find in Canada. Canadians weren’t completely deprived, however, as they actually had a TMNT cereal of their own, but it was more like a Froot Loops knock-off with the pieces shaped like the ninja turtles’ heads. To make matters worse, the pieces of the Canadian were ninja-turtle green, which definitely isn’t the most appetizing color out there.
2. Cheetos Paws
This is one of those food items that was cool, but unnecessary. With the same taste and texture as regular old Cheetos, the only thing that set Cheetos Paws apart was their shape. Playing off of Cheetos’ tiger mascot, the pieces of Cheetos Paws were shaped like small tiger paws. It’s cute, but it didn’t draw a big enough crowd to warrant keeping the product around. People were used to the shape of the original Cheetos, and there was no reason for them to buy Cheetos Paws instead (spoiler alert: people hate change. That’s why we’re so up-in-arms about not being able to buy these food items anymore). That’s not to say that Cheetos Paws didn’t have its fans. One woman wrote a message to PepsiCo on Facebook, telling them how much she enjoyed Cheetos Paws and asking for their return. PepsiCo apologized, but informed her that this particular food item probably wouldn’t be making a comeback anytime soon. They did send her a coupon though, which is still a pretty big win for her. Although you can no longer buy a package of Cheetos Paws, if you (for whatever reason) find yourself craving them, they can still be found in mixed bags of Cheetos products, like Cheetos Cracker Trax and Cheetos White Cheddar Bag of Bones.
1. Mickey’s Parade Ice Pops
Mickey Mouse and co. will never get old but apparently someone decided that the frozen dessert they inspired did. Mickey’s Parade Ice Pops were shaped like the beloved Disney characters, Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, and Goofy, and came in the flavors orange, cherry, and grape. These popsicles were sold throughout the nineties and were one of those food items that was slowly phased out without explanation. A quick search on the r/nostalgia subreddit will show you just how popular these popsicles were. Many Redditors admit to having forgotten about them completely but said that the memories came flooding back as soon as they were mentioned. Apparently, Mickey’s Parade Ice Pops were different from regular popsicles in both taste and texture, but in the best way possible. Someone even went as far as to say: “If I’m on death row, this is my last meal request”. If that doesn’t prove to you that these ice pops should never have been discontinued, nothing will.