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Top 10 Discontinued Food Items We Miss (Part 10)

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Top 10 Discontinued Food Items We Miss (Part 10)

The sheer number of food items that have been discontinued over the years is shocking. It’s kind of tragic to see all the foods that were cut off before their prime. Some of them had runs so short, that they never even really got the chance to reach their full potential. Others where just unappreciated in their time. Whatever the reason behind their discontinuation, the food items mentioned here are all ones that didn’t deserve to go. Some of them you might clearly remember from your childhood, others you may have forgotten ever existed. A few are so weird you might have thought they were the product of a fever dream but, we assure you, all food items mentioned here were very much real. So, buckle up and prepare yourselves for a nostalgic, and occasionally bizarre, trip down memory lane.

10. Keebler Munch ’ems

Let’s kick this list off with this popular snack from the nineties. Keebler Munch ‘ems were crackers baked to the point where they were so crispy, you could almost call them chips. While more flavors were added after their initial success, Keebler Munch ‘ems originally came in ranch, cheddar, original, and sour cream and onion. So, not only did they crunch like chips, they tasted like them too! These cracker-chip hybrids came in resealable bags, which was good in theory, but probably unnecessary, since it was pretty easy to go through an entire bag in one sitting. Keebler Munch ‘ems were the ultimate compromise, because, while they were healthier than regular potato chips, they could still satisfy even the strongest Pringles craving. They made a great companion to lounge on the couch and watch Sunday night football or Saturday morning cartoons with. With them out of the picture, the only options were to turn to regular crackers or regular chips… you can probably guess which won out in the end. There doesn’t seem to be any given reason for why Munch ‘ems were discontinued in the early 2000’s. All we can say on the matter is that it was a real shame.

9. Sprite Remix

Released in 2003, Sprite Remix was a line of fruit-flavored sodas, based off of popular soft drink, Sprite.There were three flavors: Sprite Tropical Remix, Sprite Berryclear Remix, and Sprite Aruba Jam Remix. And, no, we have no idea what “Aruba Jam” is supposed to taste like. Pretentious names aside, the Remix lineup was actually pretty great. These sodas were colorless, just like the original Sprite, but, unlike the soft drink on which they were based, they were caffeine-free. Sold alongside these flavors were “Remix Flavor Hits” packets, which allowed for a bit of DIY. All you had to do was tear open the package, pour the powder into your regular Sprite, give it a stir and voilà! Technically, if you were feeling ambitious, you could mix these packets together and come up with your own unique flavors. But that probably wasn’t recommended. If you made it through the early 2000’s without ever hearing about this soda, it’s probably because they were only sold for two years. Their short run made them pretty easy to miss. However, if you never got the chance to try them, you’re in luck. In 2015, ten years after their discontinuation, Sprite came out with a soda called Sprite Tropical Mix. Sounds pretty similar to Sprite Tropical Remix, right? That’s because it is. So, while the other flavors have been lost to time, this one has forced its way back into the world. This rerelease was initially supposed to be a short-term thing, but apparently the beverage was popular enough for Coca-Cola to fully commit to it, because it’s still being sold to this day.

8. Lemon Coolers Girl Scout Cookies

Who doesn’t love Girl Scout Cookies? Girl Scouts are really the only door-to-door salespeople that anyone is actually happy to see. It’s a dangerous game, because it’s so easy to use the excuse of supporting a good cause to buy ten boxes of cookies… which inevitably ends with you eating them all in an alarmingly short amount of time. It’s the oldest story in the book. Unfortunately, not even Girl Scout cookies are safe from discontinuation. Back in the day – like way back, in the seventies and eighties – Lemon Coolers were one of the Girl Scout’s hit products. The round cookies were dusted with powdered sugar and proudly baked with real lemons. No artificial flavors here. In 2012, a new cookie called Savannah Smiles was introduced to celebrate the 100thanniversary of the Girl Scouts. With its lemon flavour and light coating of powdered sugar, it’s quite reminiscent of this discontinued gem. Really, the only difference is that, instead of being round, Savannah Smiles are shaped like semi-circles (which look like smiles, in case you were confused about the origins of the name). Some people claim that this new iteration of the retired classic has a more artificial flavor, but not so much that they dislike them. While Lemon Coolers can never truly be replaced, Savannah Smiles are similar enough that they still elicit a sense of nostalgia.

7. Nestle Wonder Ball

Step aside Kinder Surprise and make room for the Nestle Wonder Ball. This hollow, milk chocolate sphere contained tiny tangy candies. As much fun as the Kinder Surprise toy is, it can’t beat candy. Even better, the Wonder Ball came packaged with a collectable sticker. Honestly, who doesn’t love stickers? Even better than the regular Wonder Ball was the Wonder Ball Plus Prize, which, in addition to the sticker and candies, came with a special-edition toy. Candy and toys, it’s literally every child’s dream. This chocolate was introduced in the mid-nineties, and had a decent run, being discontinued almost a decade later. There’s an urban legend regarding this candy which, if it’s true, is incredibly tragic and likely the reason behind the product’s discontinuation. Allegedly, a young boy choked to death on the small candies found inside the chocolate ball. Again, there’s no evidence supporting the claim, but it’s clear that the candies could be a potential choking hazard. This is the same reason why Kinder Surprise is banned in the United States. So, while the Wonder Ball was a delicious treat, this is one discontinuation that can’t be argued with.

6. Mud and Bugs Cereal

From the name alone, this sounds like a cereal that completely warranted discontinuation. In fact, it’s questionable as to whether or not it should have even been created in the first place. But this is one of those situations where you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Mud and Bugs Cereal was actually pretty great. What makes it even better is the fact that it’s inspired by Disney’s The Lion King.It’s a testament to the popularity of the film that this cereal was released nine years after the movie’s 1994 debut. In the movie, comedic duo, Timon and Pumbaa, frequently feast on bugs. As two of the film’s most popular characters, the creation of cereal based off of them and their questionable culinary habits makes sense. The “mud” part of the name references the base of the cereal, which were puffed grains, that were both flavored and colored like chocolate. As for the “bugs”, the cereal also incorporated several different colored marshmallows in the shapes of insects. Lots of kids have strange fascinations with bugs, so Mud and Bugs Cereal would definitely appeal to them. However, this cereal probably isn’t for everyone. Some people would probably be pretty disturbed at the idea of eating anything remotely resembling a bug, even if it were actually just a marshmallow. The early versions of this cereal included a DVD with a preview for one of the upcoming Disney movies at the time. The possibilities included Toy Story, Lilo & Stitch, and Monsters Inc. This premium was eventually dropped. If there were ever a time to bring back this cereal, it would be now, as The Lion King has had a massive resurgence in popularity thanks to the release of the remake.

5. Oatmeal Swirlers

Oatmeal makes for a nutritious breakfast but many people, especially children, are turned off of it because they find it to be bland and boring. General Mills took a stab at making this healthy food more appealing by coming up with Oatmeal Swirlers in 1989. If you’re up to date with food trends, you’ll know that steel cut oats and overnight oatmeal are all the rage these days. While they’re tasty and nutrient-dense, the required preparation time isn’t feasible for everyone. Instant oatmeal is infinitely more convenient, as it takes just minutes to prepare. The longest part of the process is waiting for the water to boil. With most instant oatmeal, once you’ve stirred the boiling water into the dry oatmeal mix, your breakfast is ready to be eaten. However, Oatmeal Swirlers added an extra step. Along with packages of plain oatmeal, you were provided with packets of icing. The packages allowed you to draw designs on your oatmeal with the icing. This is one situation where playing with your food was actually encouraged! Some people would draw pictures, while others would set up games, such as Tic-Tac-Toe. Although it probably wasn’t a good idea to get too caught up in the drawing part of things, since if it took too long, you’d be left with cold oatmeal, which isn’t remotely appetizing. Oatmeal Swirlers could be purchased with different flavors of icing, including strawberry, maple brown sugar, apple cinnamon, and milk chocolate. Nineties kids everywhere miss starting their day with this breakfast food.

4. Whistle Pops

If you enjoyed Whistle Pops (later rebranded as Melody Pops) as a kid, there’s a good chance that your parents hated them. These cylindrical lollipops had holes cut in them that allowed for the production of a whistling sound when they were blown into. It’s easy to see why children would love them. And even easier to see why adults couldn’t stand them. Honestly, these probably were discontinued as a result of parental petitioning. These lollipops have actually been around since the seventies, which is significant as it means that they had the opportunity to reach a large audience. As a result, most people have at least heard of this candy, if they haven’t tasted it themselves. A few years after their 2015 discontinuation, Whistle Pops were reintroduced as Melody Pops, with the tagline “play real music.” Unfortunately, this reintroduction wasn’t international. They seem to be available only in the United Kingdom. So, if you want to revisit this candy from your childhood, it may require an overseas excursion. Or, you could probably place an online order for them, but the shipping fees would probably be excessive. It’s up to you to decide what lengths you want to go to in order to get your hands on this classic candy.

3. Hostess Choco-Bliss

To all the chocolate-addicts out there, a word of warning. This entry is going to go into graphic detail of the chocolatey properties of Choco-Bliss and is enough to incite severe cravings. Hostess’ Choco-Bliss doesn’t look like the most appealing dessert out there, but what it lacks in appearance it more than makes up for in taste. These snack-sized cakes were dubbed “the Chocolate Lover’s Dream” and their advertisements were uncomfortably sexual. There’s loving chocolate and then there’s… well, whatever it was those Choco-Bliss commercials from 1986 were trying to portray. The layered cake brought so many different chocolatey elements to the table. There were two layers of devil’s food cake, with a light, creamy chocolate icing in between them, and a heavy, rich chocolate frosting on top. That’s three different kinds of chocolate in just one food item. Can you say decadent? You may be wondering where these delicious-sounding cakes went. Unfortunately, we don’t have an answer. They seemed to disappear overnight, sometime in the late eighties or early nineties. They were actually quite popular, which makes the whole thing even more confusing. No reason was ever given for their discontinuation, in fact, Hostess didn’t even really acknowledge it. Maybe they thought that this was just too much chocolate to handle. If you know your way around a kitchen, you can try replicating these cakes at home. There are a ton of DIY recipes available online, so why not whip up a batch and see how they compare to the original?

2. Orbitz Drink

This Canadian beverage was sorely underappreciated. Orbitz was an innovative, noncarbonated drink. It’s discontinuation, which occurred shortly after its 1997 release, was attributed to poor sales. If people had just given this odd beverage a chance, it might have made it big. If you’ve never heard of Orbitz, think bubble tea… but different. The fruit flavored drinks were clear and had small, sugary balls floating in them. The balls came in different colors depending on the flavor of the beverage and were essentially made of gelatin. The drink’s signature feature was the fact that the balls were suspended throughout the beverage. This was in part due to their density, but an ingredient called gellan gum also worked as a stabilizer to help keep them suspended. Due to the drink’s funky appearance and the shape of its glass bottle, people often compared its appearance to that of a lava lamp. Orbitz was flavored in several different fruit combinations, some of which were quite unusual. There was Pineapple Banana Cherry Coconut (which was basically the entire produce section in one drink, but it worked), Raspberry Citrus, Blueberry Melon Strawberry, and Vanilla Orange. Later on, Black Currant Berry was added to the lineup. Unfortunately, advertisers went for the easy way out with Orbitz, labeling it with the tagline “the drink with balls.” Needless to say, that campaign failed horribly, pushing the marketing team to try a different strategy, where they pitched the drink as a futuristic, out-of-this-world beverage from Planet Orbitz. That might have actually been cool, if they hadn’t captioned it with “Prepare to embark on a tour into the bowels of the Orbiterium.” No one wants to think about bowels in relation to their food or drink. In the end, it’s strange appearance and poor marketing pushed consumers away from Orbitz, ending its run prematurely.

1. Hershey’s Swoops

Hershey’s Swoops lineup was one of the best things to ever happen to the candy industry. Not to be overly dramatic, but its discontinuation is absolutely unforgiveable. In case you couldn’t tell, between this and Choco-Bliss, we’re very passionate about our chocolate here. These candies were unique because they were packaged and shaped like Pringles chips, except they were made completely of chocolate. Several different varieties were released, most of them inspired by popular Hershey’s chocolates. There was Milk Chocolate, Toffee and Almonds, Almond Joy, Strawberries and Cream, Dark Semi-Sweet Chocolate with Almonds, York Peppermint Pattie, and both white and milk chocolate Reese’s. These chip-shaped chocolates first hit shelves in 2003 but were ultimately discontinued in 2006. The concept was a promising one, but, in the end, the sales weren’t what Hershey had hoped. Sales just weren’t good enough for them to justify continuing to produce the product. While it’s a shame, you can also kind of see why this food item didn’t soar to great heights. Once the novelty wore off, consumers realized that Swoops were just the same old chocolate in a different form. They didn’t really bring anything new to the table outside of their shape. While these thin slices of chocolate were good, why would you settle for Swoops when you had the option to buy a satisfying chocolate bar in exactly the same flavor? Chocolate bars are just so much more satisfying when it comes to getting in your daily chocolate fix. Regardless, this food item was a cool idea and we’re sad that Swoops and chocolate bars couldn’t peacefully exist alongside one another.

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