Throughout life, it is inevitable that we will all face a break up at one point. How we choose to handle ourselves after the damage is done can make or break you. Break ups are never easy or pleasant and it is then that you need to put your big person pants on and handle it like a boss. Whether it is getting back out into the game and dating again or simply doing what is best for you handling things on your own, you will make it through.
There are a multitude of ways to help you cope after you feel like your heart sank into your stomach. Acknowledging is a good start because being in denial or confused about the status of your relationship will not lead to anything positive. Blessings sometimes come in disguise, you survived without this person before and you can certainly do it again. Stiffen up and realize that there are 15 ways to shine after a break up…
15. Get a makeover
This is a classic go to move after you have been dumped or are feeling down. Getting a make over is like a breath of fresh air and puts a little more pep in your step. It helps you feel your best and gives you a good boost of the confidence you need. Feeling like a million bucks with a new hair cut, toned body or great tan for example psychologically impacts you into a positive mind-frame. The little things over time add up to the big picture at the end of the day, so start by making your makeover appointments and taking yourself closer to the new and improved you.
Everyone always says to exercise on a regular basis because of the positive impact it brings. Naturally, after a break up when you are feeling especially down and gross from binge eating chocolate ice cream, it is time for some damage control. Turning into a big, beefy hulk does not have to be the ultimate goal, but hitting the gym or doing a sport at least 3 times a week will improve your life mentally and physically. If you are not one to jog tirelessly on the treadmill because it can be very mundane and boring, explore some other classes like boxing or dancing, you can meet new people on top of getting in shape!
It can be a really weird feeling getting back into the game after separating from your S.O. It can feel like you are doing something bad or like you have no idea what you are doing in the dating world again. It may be difficult at the beginning to be on the market again, but the more people you meet, the better. There are tons of really interesting people out there who can bring out great sides of you, that you did not even know where inside of you. If it does not work out romantically, you made a new friend, right?
12. Hang with family/friends
There’s a saying that a good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures for anything. Never underestimate the power of your friends and family when it comes to having the blues. They are the ones who know you best and know exactly what you need to hear. They are good distractions to get out there and do something instead of moping alone at home. They have your best interest and that is what they are there for, the good and the bad times, use your support system.
Exploring the world and all that it has to offer is one of the best things that you can do for yourself at no matter what age. The world is huge and there is so much culture and beauty to see beyond what you know. Travelling can broaden your mindset and make you realize how insignificant the things you worry about really are in the grand scheme of things. The best thing about travel is that there is always a new place to discover, endless people to meet and so much more than you would never expect until you get up and go.
10. Try something new
Now that you have more time to devote to you, it is a great idea to get involved in things that you have no before. There is always a new project or interest that can speak to you and now is the time to act on it. Whether it is creating an art portfolio, joining a dance studio or testing your courage sky diving, it is all new. It is stimulating to you and getting fixated on these new projects allows your mind to drift away from the fact that you just broke up.
9. Deal with the sads
When keeping yourself busy with the hustle/bustle lifestyle you have created in order to forget your feelings, not acknowledging them at all is definitely not beneficial for your recovery. It is okay to feel crumby, to think that you made mistakes and to create the worst ideas in your head about what went wrong and just how awful everything is. Dramatics will never go out of style. Do not make this a habit though because as much as people preach that they are there for you, the constant Debbie Downer is on nobody’s party list. Control as much as you can emotionally and allow yourself the time you need to process a sad situation, but never stop moving forward.
8. Let it go
There is nothing worse than the person who can not move on from a relationship that ended five plus years ago. The quicker you accept that the relationship is officially over, the better. False hope can delay your progress in thinking that there is a chance things can work out in the long run. If does down the road, great, but do not keep that hint of hope in your head. The back and forth, on and off relationships will go on forever and nothing will change. It sucks to admit, but when you know it is not working out, it is not, so move forward.
7. Focus on the positives
As dark and gloomy as your life may seem post break up, it is important to remember all of the positives that you also do have during this time. Consuming yourself with misery will never lead to any type of happiness, so it is time to turn that frown upside down. Think of the people in your life who do good by you, who care about you and who show that they love you, that is a huge positive. Think about your talents and the things that make you want to get out of bed in the morning. There are always good things happening in your life, you just have to sometimes force yourself to see them.
Laughter truly is the best medicine. Whether it is a hearty, belly aching laugh or a quick smirk and chuckle, there is no doubt that it makes us feel great. It allows us to forget all of our worries and sadness for that moment in time and just enjoy ourselves. Years later, we can reminisce on how silly we were after a break up and laugh it out with a close friend. We all can relate to the craziness that once was a part of our lives and how laughing at our past selves makes us appreciate how much we have grown and moved forward.
5. Re decorate
There is something about re vamping your living space that tricks us to thinking we are creating a fresh start. Feeling like we are in a fresh space with new décor that we love is an amazing thing to do. The process of picking out the items and style you would like to have takes time and energy. It is a great way to stay distracted and busy. You will eventually have an amazing, new space to call your own with pride at all the work you put in.
4. Be with animals
How can somebody be in a bad mood when a super cute and cuddly puppy comes to play with him? Animals are man’s best friend and there is no doubt why! They are so loyal, they are empathetic and know when humans are down. Animals are responsible for saving so many lives through all of the love and compassion they give to their human friends. There are countless stats about the positive impact animals bring to humans. If you are not ready to own a pet, hang out with somebody else’s or volunteer at your local animal shelter. There will be plenty of happy furry friends waiting to share some love with.
3. Cut contact
This is one of the hardest steps to do, but in the long run you will thank yourself. Keeping continuous contact with an ex right after you break up makes it much more difficult to move on. There is the constant knowledge of what is going on with their lives and they will always be at the back of your head when you continue to keep some form of relationship. Cutting contact really makes things be over and is a huge help in allowing you to progress independently.
2. Remind yourself
Keep reminding yourself just how great you really are. You are a catch and if it not with them, it will be with somebody else. Do not even start to get down on yourself with the self pity and insecurity about who you are as a person. Relationships do not work out sometimes for a multitude of reasons, so blaming it all on yourself is not the way to go. Every day millions of couples break up, you are no different. Just keep a positive attitude towards yourself and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
1. Forgive and forget
In order to move forward in life, it is important that we let go of hate and anger towards others. Hanging on to negative emotions and keeping them inside will only hurt you long term. Accept that some people are just jerks and it really has nothing to do with you. You are in control of who you hang around with and let and keep into your life, focus on that. Forget the people who do not deserve your friendship, time or partnership, life all works out at the end of the day, so start living and loving it!