It’s December and that means that millions of people are looking forward to celebrating the story of a man from a long time ago that was born to a virgin and then was then reborn later this month and the other stories that surround him. That’s right, it’s beginning to feel a lot like… Star Wars!
The Last Jedi, is only a handful of days away. With rumors running wild that Rey or even Luke Skywalker may join the Dark Side, let’s check if we’re potentially Sith in training too. There are countless signs but we’ve narrowed it down to the Top 15.
Top 15, No! That’s IMPOSSIBLE!
15. You’ve Got Daddy Issues
Let’s face it, while the films don’t get into the story behind the Emperor or Darth Maul (although the books, comics, video games are cartoons do) the other Sith (and even the protagonists of the trilogies) all have daddy issues.
From Anakin and Darth Vader not having a father, period, to Kylo Ren basically having to kill his own father to finally be accepted by Supreme Leader Snoke, it’s clear that dads have a bad rap in this cinematic universe. Luke Skywalker’s story was all about him vs. his father, with the “No, I am your father” line being the most famous line in movie history.
His father’s love ends up saving him at the end though. Rey also isn’t even sure who her father — or mother even — is and that’s going to be a big piece of the upcoming films with hundreds of theories spreading since the Force Awakens hit theaters. So, whether you’re a daddy’s girl (or boy) or have daddy issues in general, you’re definitely on your way to becoming a Sith.
14. You have Higher Standards than Your Friends
Despite the fact that they were the bad guys, Sith actually had much higher standards than the Jedi did in terms of who it recruited, even back before the whole Rule of Two came into play. Beyond the fact that they were more selective as to who they allowed into their Academy in the first place, they also had much more intensive and exclusive training. While it was geared towards weeding out weak applicants it could also be deadly for those involved as having untrained kids in puberty basically winging it and focusing on rage based powers, you knew it was only a matter of time until that exchange student ended up missing a few limbs. So, while we doubt there are many of you that have maimed Gunter, you may be a Sith in training, secretively, if you hold people to a higher standard than others.
13. You have One REALLY Good Friend… Sort of
While the Sith used to have thousands of emo-teens running around multiple planets (120 at their peak) they decided to cut the number down to two. The rule of two created the master/apprentice dichotomy that existed in some form before that (as masters at the Academy would often take on an apprentice).
The idea was that after the master basically taught their apprentice everything they’d know, and the apprentice spent years using that to act as the muscle behind the master’s work, the apprentice would get strong enough to kill the master. They would then find their own apprentice and repeat the cycle.
So, if you have one really good, or really controlling friend, one that you know you’ll eventually abandon, then you might be a future Sith. The bad news is that once you find a new friend, they’ll eventually abandon you after they find a significant other to french kiss. Just like Darth Maul.
12. You Accidentally Killed Your Pet Goldfish/Hamster as a Child
The Sith are basically pure evil and driven only by ambition and hate. To really prove that an initiate is as dedicated, as they say, it is said that the final step to becoming a Sith (or being accepted by the Sith) is to kill someone you love.
Kylo killed his father, Han Solo, and only after that did Supreme Leader Snoke decide to finish his training. If you’ve ever thought that hamsters could warm up in the microwave as long as you wrapped them in tinfoil or decided to clean your goldfish’s bowl with… Your hamster? If you have, then you’re well on your way to becoming a Sith lord.
11. You’ve Always Thought that Your School was Evil
While it really depends on which era you’re talking about, before the Rule of Two was installed. the Sith had schools that focused on academics — a pretty normal education for Sith pre-teens. While they studied Dark Side-related junk like algebra, it was a process that allowed the Sith to keep their ranks filled.
So, if you ever notice that your school has a surprising amount of faculty members who’ve survived being sliced in half by a lightsaber, have life support robotic suits or project themselves into the classroom at a 40 foot hologram… You may be a Sith in training.
10. You Only See the Bad in Those Around You
While most people are made up of both negative and positive traits, the Sith seem to only focus or see the negative aspects of that person. Once the Dark Side takes hold, they change, that’s why so many Jedi have fallen to it, whether they joined with the best intentions or only planned on joining for a short period of time as a means to an end.
On top of that, because of the Rule of Two, they’re really just spending most of their time around their master — and considering that their master has been involved with the Dark Side for decades, they’ve most likely lost any or all good that they once had inside of them.
It makes sense because if they were able to see the good in them they’d most likely get drawn to the Light — think Kylo Ren, who struggles with his darkness.
9. Your Eyes are Yellow(er) than Usual
Like smoking, going to the Dark side is bad for the body. While you may be able to live for an unnaturally long amount of time because of your power, your actual body is basically being poisoned by the evil within it.
Referred to as the degradation of the body, the best example of this is one of the (if not the) most powerful Sith in history: Darth Sidious aka The Emperor aka Senator Palpatine. While a lot of his degradation came from the fact that his lightning attack against Mace Windu backfired and melted his face, that wasn’t the only reason that he began to look more and more like a monster.
From his time in the Senate until we last see him, he’s gained yellow eyes, pale skin and dark fingernails, all of which are signs of someone who has extensively used the Dark Side for long periods of time. While we don’t know the story behind Supreme Leader Snoke as of the writing of this article, he’s clearly not going to win any beauty contests.
So, if you notice a yellowing in your eyes you just might be a Sith in training, that or you have jaundice and should probably both stop drinking and also go see your doctor… To recruit him as your apprentice, of course.
8. You Agree with Waterboarding
Back during the wars that opposed the Sith and the Jedi, one of the better skills an apprentice could have was the ability to interrogate and torture people. We got to see some of this in The Force Awakens.
Kylo Ren showed an innate ability to not only basically read one’s mind, but also torture them in the process as a means to get information out of them. Because the Sith had no compassion, they didn’t’ care about silly things like rules of war.
If you’re like many and believe that any means are necessary to obtain “information” from enemies captured on the battlefield, then you just might be a Sith in training.
7. You Have a Future in Politics and Believe that Two People in a Room can get more Done Than 100…
A lot of the Empire and even The First Order, both aesthetically and in terms of how they ruled (especially during large speeches/showings of strength), were and are based on the Nazi government of the 1930’s through the mid-1940’s.
So, the Sith based governments are really just fascist dictatorships while groups like the Galactic Senate (and the Galactic Republic it represented) represent liberal democracies like those of the Western world (the modern one, anyway). So, if you’re the type of person that really believes that two people can get more done than 100 (unless you need to move a piano…
Unless those two people can move that piano with the force?), then you might be a Sith.
6. You’re Easily Tempted
The Dark Side is like meth. Everyone knows it’s bad for you and apparently is really, really bad for your skin. The fact is that many good people have ended up as Sith lords that are full of regret (which only gives the Dark Side more control over them).
Sith lords that are looking for an apprentice often take advantage of either that arrogance or the fact that they’re dealing with someone who is desperate to protect a loved one (that as number 15 has shown, they’ll later ask them to kill anyway) and use their cunning to tempt them to join the Dark Side.
So, if you are the type of person that goes in for that second slice of pie or often wakes up after a night on the town with zero memory of either the night or even what town you were in, you actually might be a Sith in training.
5. You Screw Up Sometimes… But Totally Redeem Yourself
As mentioned in the previous entry (not coincidentally as these are some of the steps towards becoming a Sith), if a Jedi ends up either falling to the Dark Side or attempting to utilize aspects of the Dark Side for good reasons (but then also falling under it’s spell) they can actually end up as Jedi’s once again through one of two ways.
The first is atonement, and that’s something that’s base on whether or not the actions that the Jedi/New-Sith undertook as a Dark Sider weren’t too horrible. If they were basically “tainted” by the Dark Side but hadn’t done anything particularly terrible, they could atone for their actions through meditation, reflection and absolution.
If they’ve done something too terrible (think Anakin and his role in the “death” of Mace Windu), then they’re beyond atonement and can only then redeem themselves by performing a selfless act of heroism (think Anakin when he saved is son from the Emperor), they can even use the Dark Side to do this.
So, if you’ve ever really, really screwed up let’s say by forgetting the birthday of a family member, you may have been beyond atonement. So, if your response was to break the space time continuum in order to go back in time and have your family member celebrate their birthday twice, then you’ve redeemed yourself.
4. You Think Everyone is Out to Get You
While we all knew that Anakin would eventually become Darth Vader, writer-director George Lucas laid on it on pretty thick in the prequels (namely in the second and third installments) by showing that Anakin generally felt as if no one understood him and that everyone, even his mentor Obi Wan Kenobi, were out to get him.
Basically, outside of his lover, Padme (and arguably C-3PO, which explains a lot actually) and strangely in the Emperor himself were out to get him. There’s actually a psychological term for that and it’s called a persecution complex and while this entry got sort of real, quick, things needn’t be that severe for you to be considered a Sith in training.
There could be that teacher in school that gives you bad grades no matter what you do, or that squirrel in your front yard that keeps looking at you cock-eyed, if you notice that some people are out to get you, perhaps… You know… You get it by now.
3. Your Only Wear Black Clothes and like the Color Red
Quick. What’s your favorite color? If it’s red, you might be a Sith in training. We will also consider black as your back up color. That’s right, while the Jedi have at least come color in their warddrobe (and light saber selection), the Sith only really work with two different colors and that’s black and red.
The black is for what they wear, from head to two they are basically rocking all black, and while their skin colors can vary even the first apprentice that we saw outside of Darth Vader on the big screen in Darth Maul was basically just black and red. So, go over to your closet and open the door, if the first item of clothing you see is either black or red, there’s bad news…
You’re basically evil and you’ll probably end up in an iron lung at some point. We don’t write the rules, we just paraphrase them.
2. You Crave Unlimited Power
One of the most recognizable traits in most (if not all) Sith’s, especially in the age of the Rule of Two, is the insatiable quest for power that the Sith have. While power isn’t necessarily what lead Anakin to the Dark Side, after his conversion (and he killed all those poor, poor younglings), was immediately talking about the galaxy as “his galaxy.”
It’s just something that goes hand in hand with being a bad guy, and really it makes sense in the age of the Rule of Two as they don’t have the large armies to colonize planets so instead that have to find a way to infiltrate their way into the highest levels of government or create a large following and then fight their way into power in order to really accomplish their goals.
While they could really just hang out, just the two of them, at a nice lake resort somewhere and grow old together (or as old as they allow the older one to get until the younger one kills the older one and eats his continental breakfast) but really if there’s only two of you of course you’re going to focus on power.
So, the best way to figure this out is to say that if you’ve ever run for class President or you know know someone who has done that then… You might be a Sith in training or that person definitely is a Sith in training.
1. You Take Risks
Oftentimes Jedi end up as slaves to the Dark Side because they’ve taken the risk of using the Dark Side as a means to an end.
More often than not they aren’t strong enough to leave the Dark Side after joining, or they end up doing something while under the power of the Dark Side that makes them beyond being atoned by Jedi standards.
These lost souls either end up redeeming themselves (like Vader did) or spending their lives intoxicated by the Dark Side.
So, if you’re the type of person that takes a lot of risks, whether that means you sometimes end up biting more than you can chew or have a body full of scars covered with Nickleback tattoos… Then you might be a Sith in training!