Being in a relationship isn’t all pink and rosy all the time. Sometimes there are signs that your guy is not into you anymore? Sometimes you find out the hard way, sometimes people he lets you down easy… it all depends on whom you date. The truth is, as rapidly as you fall in love with someone, you can fall just as quickly out of love with him or her. For a relationship to work it requires time, interest, and dedication. And of course you have to balance that with managing the rest of your life, such as work, family and friends. So before diving into a relationship, there are things that one must keep in mind: Not all people will think/act like you; not everyone is loyal, and not everyone is honest. And on the flip side: not all guys are going to lie and not all girls will friend-zone you. What is important to keep in mind is sometimes you are going to date someone who is not on the same page as you… and that’s okay, as long as you act once you realize it. You might have to break it off if he won’t, because people can act like cowards when it comes to breaking up with someone. Stop letting them waste your time and move on. Here is a list of behaviors to watch for that are usually tell tale signs that your partner isn’t that into you anymore.
15. He doesn’t seem to be making time for you.
When a guy is interested in you he will MOST CERTAINLY demonstrate it. Guys have a way of showing you how much they really want to be with you… when they want to be with you. But they also have a way of making you feel pretty unimportant when they don’t. Starting with “oh… I’m so busy this weekend!” which secretly means: “I have nothing to do but I’d rather be alone” or “I already made plans without you because I don’t want you around”. At first, you might not really get the message, because people can’t be available to you 100% of the time. However, if this keeps happening… it’s pretty clear. Guys aren’t stupid; if they want you, they will make sure you know it. But hey, if someone walks out of your life out of the blue, he is probably doing you a favor. No matter how much you love someone, the most important thing is to look out for yourself before anyone else. So, if he’s suddenly acting weirdly and is too busy to ask about your day AND is not making plans with you for the weekend (for the twentieth time), it’s definitely a sign you need to have “the talk” with him.
14. He’s suddenly M.I.A.
If you’re suddenly finding yourself going to parties, family dinners, and any other basic bring your boyfriend activities alone, it’s definitely for a reason. One thing is for sure, boyfriends and husbands enjoy letting other people know you are theirs (like we’re some kind of object or something). Simply because you’re far too precious to them and they definitely do not want to lose you (watch out for the wildly possessive ones though, because that’s just never healthy). As Steve Harvey mentions in his Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man book, “A man who professes you as his own (giving you the title of girlfriend/fiancé/his lady) is also saying in not so many words that he’s claiming you – that you are his. Now he’s put everyone on notice… [he] has professed out loud that ‘this one is mine and she’s not available for anything you were plotting and planning.’” So ladies, if your boyfriend is suddenly not so interested in participating in your social life or making an effort to call when you’re with other people, that probably means he could care less about your whereabouts and who you’re with… and that’s certainly not a good sign in a relationship. He’s probably not THAT into you anymore.
13. His texts seem somewhat uninterested.
We’re girls. If someone knows ditch texts is us… it’s a sixth sense that we have. Do you know that feeling when you’re talking to someone you just met but wish you hadn’t? Like, they’re so annoying and are all over you when all you want is some space? We’ve all been there, and the way we deal with it is by ignoring their existence as best as we can. The same thing happens with texting and messaging; sometimes people are all over your notifications on social media and it’s just –plain– annoying and uninteresting. We mostly just answer with short a “oh”, “yeah”, “haha” or maybe an emoji to make sure the other person has nothing left to say (but sometimes they still do). It’s not the other person’s fault you feel so annoyed by him/her; everyone has a different personality and we just have to deal with it. So if a guy ever ditch texts you, don’t feel frustrated or sad about it, just walk away. It’s important to understand, however, that ditch texts only mean something if they start out of the blue. So, if you had a recent fight with your boyfriend, it’s normal that things can be weird at first. But if nothing’s happened (that you know of) and he starts ignoring your texts and answering with one-word sentences, either confront him about it or slowly make your way to the door… because he’s not that into you anymore.
12. Suddenly the sex isn’t as frequent.
Who says sex doesn’t involve feelings? Nobody is saying you can’t have a one-night stands and be okay with it, but most of these said nights often include enormous amounts of alcohol, don’t they? Most guys are like women; yes, they can have unattached meaningless sex, but they are much more interested in having sex with a partner that they have feelings for. Marc, 33, told Thought Catalog, “This is really something men don’t talk about when it’s just ‘the guys’. I think that we’re told by society that A) Sex is dirty and awesome and that B) If you’re in love then you should never say so. Sex with someone you love can be actually transcendental and by that I mean you transcend your ‘self’ and become emotionally entwined with the person with whom you’re sharing that love. It’s a miracle if you ask me and we’d all be better off if we admitted how wonderful it is to feel that way.” Back to our 12th sign, well… If you find yourself wondering when the last time you had sex with your mate was, maybe it was too long ago… If there is a time when couples are the most intimate, it’s definitely when havnig sex. So if a guy isn’t “into it” anymore, and blows you off when you try to get close… then he’s probably not that into you anymore period.
11. His body language is different.
It is scientifically proven that we display many behaviors that we are unaware of when we lose interest in someone… whether he/she is our loved one, or a friend, or even a stranger. Some of these behaviors include feeling anxiety over wanting to leave or touching our nose. Men don’t even realize they do these things. For instance, a guys will to come up with excuses to leave when he is with you like: his mom is asking them to come home early, or he has a family dinner you’re surprisingly not invited to, or they are feeling sick or tired. Even though these reasons are sometimes true and have nothing to do with you, sometimes they do! Which is why you need to pay close attention if they’re accompanied by other additional signs. Touching one’s nose is involuntary, however it holds a lot of subconscious meaning. According to psychologists, “this action has been known to mean that something negative is happening or a negative thought is running through that person’s head. It could also be a sign that he’s lying to you.” Do you really want to be with a liar? Do you want to be with someone who’s always finding a way to ditch you? Hopefully your answer is no. So if you are noticing these behaviours in your guy, it is time to have the “it’s over” talk because he has probably lost interest in you.
Sometimes guys are too obvious, and being dramatic can be direct sign. Have you ever had a boyfriend annoying you with so much drama that you break up with him? This may be done on purpose; sometimes this is the outcome they were looking for. See, when guys start to lose interest in you, they tend to look for ways to make YOU break up with them so they can come out the looking like the “innocent” victims. Cheating isn’t always the option they choose, because not all guys agree are ok with being unfaithful… but they still need to find a way; said way is by creating unnecessary drama. If your boyfriend is suddenly fighting you about eating one of his fries, or for not picking up the phone, or for not remembering something, or for any other silly thing, he’s probably provoking you to break up with him because he’s not that into you anymore. Watch out for these signs because sometimes we feel often guilty about breaking up, when in reality, it’s they who are pushing us to do it. So if your relationship enters some kind of drama phase where all you do is fight and nothing seems right anymore, he may be trying to tell you something – he wants out!
9. Excuses, excuses.
Everyone makes excuses from time to time. And we girls know how to make them better than anyone else, because we use them regularly and for everything. Guys tend to be a bit different. They are usually upfront, until they get nervous. When they’re coming up with excuses you can see it in their face; it is pretty obvious. Being in a relationship means committing some of your time to somebody and if you enjoy doing that then that’s great. But if your boyfriend starts coming up with excuses like: “I don’t want to get married until I’m 30” that really means ‘don’t get any ideas about the future because I don’t want you in it’; or says he ‘really’ likes you but that he doesn’t want anything too serious… babe he’s just not that into you. A New Mode magazine asked guys what their excuses really meant, and they concluded: “their excuses are intended to make you abandon the thought of getting into a relationship with him.” So if you are looking for a future with someone and he is giving you excuses, it’s time to MOVE ON because he simply doesn’t like you anymore… or not enough.
8. He avoids talking about the future.
Sometimes guys don’t make excuses about the future, sometime they avoid the topic altogether. If a guy won’t talk ‘future talk’ with you it’s probably because either he hasn’t contemplated the idea of marrying you yet or because he simply does not want you in his future, or in his present life for that matter (but that isn’t surprising… is it?). Relationships can become monotonous and that’s only normal when you’ve been with someone for a long time. The question is whether you should get out of this routine or not. If the relationship is worth it, you’ll both fight your way out of a lull. In some cases though, when either one is getting tired of the situation, avoiding future commitment talk is a way to tell you that the relationship is pretty much dying or dead. In order to ease the tension that comes with talking about any kind of future plans with your boyfriend or friend with benefits, either be 100% sure that he wants the same thing as you or just walk away if he isn’t giving you what you want.
7. No jealousy whatsoever.
If there’s one thing that’s healthy in all relationships, it is a little bit of jealousy (emphasizing once again that excessively jealous and possessive people are unhealthy and should be avoided like the plague), because it clarifies just how much someone wants you and wants to be with you. Guys and girls are allowed to be a little jealous and it can also be kind of cute. You’re lying to yourself if you claim you’ve never done something to purposely annoy your boyfriend and make him jealous! So testing this can be useful if you want to know where you stand in a relationship. If he’s suddenly ignoring you and not caring about the fact that you talk to other new guys at parties or that you go out partying and drinking without him, then it’s probably too late and he’s not that into you anymore.
6. He doesn’t make romantic gestures anymore.
This sign is widely arguable; the thing is, not all guys are romantic and not all them do the corny, cheesy stuff you see on promposals on Instagram or Twitter (welcome to real life!). However, at some point or other, you have to be able to understand each other emotionally, and that’s the most romantic display of love you’ll ever receive; to be able to feel comfortable with somebody . The best feeling in the world is being comfortable enough with someone that you can be silent. Having to talk all the time can be burdensome, and it’s definitely okay to not always have something to discuss. When we asked a few guys why they stopped making romantic gestures, their answer was simple: ‘we stop being romantic and we stop caring when we lose interest, it’s that simple’. However, this doesn’t apply to all men because some of them simply are less “cheesy”. The thing to remember is that if the guy you are dating was romantic at first and then all of the sudden he stopped, then there is something to worry about; if he never was romantic then everything is fine… unless you need romance.
5. There’s nothing to talk about anymore.
While being comfortable with someone else’s silence is okay and healthy in a relationship, it’s not good to never have anything to discuss. Something is always going to happen during your day, either when you are apart or together that you will want to discuss, whether it be accomplishments, disappointments, bizarre anecdotes, or maybe you just want to tease and flirt. These are things that couples talk about on a regular basis and that can’t be ignored. It’s only normal that you would want to tell your significant other about what is going on in your life. When you’re in a relationship, you allow yourself to open up to someone and share and conversely offer your partner a safe haven to do the same thing. When a guy loses interest in you, he stops telling you things simply because he doesn’t feel like opening up to you anymore. This is because he doesn’t care if you know about him or not. Another way to tell if he doesn’t like you anymore (and this is something you can try at home), is by asking him about his personal stuff/issues and seeing whether he cares enough to tell you about all it, or if he just say something like, “I’ll tell you later, it’s a long story”. That translates to ‘I hope you forget about it because I don’t want to talk to you about it’.
4. He doesn’t pay attention to anything you do or say.
Have you ever talked to your significant other about something that is important to you or told him about something relevant that happened and he has forgotten about it the same day you told him? Similarly to him not wanting to share his personal stuff with you, he doesn’t want to know about your life. This sign is really important to us, girls, because we love to talk and we always want someone to listen to us. So guys, if you’re reading this, make sure you understand how crucial it is for us to have you listen to what we say. In relationships, it’s only normal to run out of things to talk about eventually, but listening can never grow old. So if a guy isn’t listening to you and he is practically telling you he doesn’t care about what you have to say with his body language, then he has simply lost interest in you. From an objective point of view, you’re better off by yourself. What’s the point of being with someone who has not interest in your thoughts, and your life. There is not point.
3. He openly discusses women he fantasizes about with you.
When men are in a relationship, they usually see their partner as their muse which is why you know there’s something wrong when he starts looking at other women freely while still with you. They probably want you to notice that they’re interested in sexier, curvier, and hotter women in magazines, on TV, and even in real life. If this is happening, it if very possible that he is being intimate with another woman or women. Unfortunately, these things are not always just our imaginations running wild, because let’s face it: some guys are trouble! However, if you’re in an open relationship and you are truly okay with it, then conversations about other men and women are perhaps commonplace (but that’s a whole other topic). If you’re in an exclusive relationship, then you need to address the situation with your boyfriend. If he understands that this bothers you and apologizes, AND refrains from ever doing again (in front of you, at least… out of respect?), then perhaps he just isn’t well versed in social graces and it is something you can forgive and forget. However, if he does so again after you told him how it makes you feel, then he’s showing you that he doesn’t care about you or your feelings which will bring up feeling of insecurity. Rightfully so, because he’s simply not into you anymore. You don’t need this kind of toxicity in your life.
2. He’s becoming super flirty!
Not only is he starting to openly discuss how sexy other women are in front of you, he’s starting to flirt with these women right in FRONT of you… now that’s just low! This is just a sign, this is a red flag waving in the wind. There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex while in a relationship… but flirting with other people while in a relationship, especially in front of the other person is plain old disrespectful and mean!! If a guy starts doing this, then you really need to think about if you want to be in a relationship with someone who’s hot for someone else. This is where the term self-love comes in. When guys lose interest in someone, they can show it in a many different ways but this one just takes it too far. Guys tend to flirt with other girls while in a relationship, to have a backup or to boost their ego, Either way, it means they are no longer that interested in you and you definitely need to move on from a guy who exhibits this bad behaviour.
1. He just doesn’t care about anything anymore.
Last but not least, it’s important to mention that when you’re in a relationship, it’s a 50/50 thing. You get what you give and vice versa. The idea is that both people have the same dedication to the relationship and to each. If you start to feel like your significant other isn’t as attentive or emotionally invested as you are, it is probably because there has been a shift and it not just something you’re imagining. The research on this confirms something about guys that most women probably already knew: boys are simple. If they want something – they’ll let you know, if they love you – they will tell you, and if they’re not interested in you anymore – they will make sure you feel or perceive it. So don’t ignore these signs and pay close attention to what goes on in your relationship, because if your boyfriend is too busy to care about you, it’s probably because he could care less about you; end of story. If he’s not that into you, let him go. You deserve someone that is into you as much as you are into him.