Over the past few years, you’ve likely noticed a particular trend regarding the online fast food conversation. This trend involves reviewers, bloggers and opinionated unknowns across the country who single out the most “outside the box” menu items and proceed to trash them for being disgusting.
When dissected, this practice is simply an easy attack on the lowest of hanging fruits. When you step into a fast food restaurant (or some select sit-down dining establishments), you know what you’re getting into. You’re basically signing an invisible contract allowing the proprietors to fill your belly with portions of questionable nutrition and, in return, you’re spared from having to cook and from spending a lot of money.
So, when you turn around and blast cheap food joints for serving you something that isn’t the pinnacle of wholesome goodness, you’re kind of breaking an unwritten trust. Fast food isn’t supposed to be good for you, you numbskulls!
However, after stripping aside your fabricated air of supremacy, you just might realize how amazing these unique menu choices can be. Here’s a list of a 15 amazing anomalies and what makes them great.
15. Double Down (KFC):
The Double Down is the granddaddy of food we’re supposed to be horrified by. Even though it has only been around since 2010, there are more scathing online reviews about this sandwich than there are about marine life species (which, by the way, is estimated at over 2 million of them).
But what’s so bad about it, really? If you’re walking into a KFC, you’re probably thinking about getting fried chicken, right? Well, the Double Down is two pieces of chicken wrapped around bacon. It comes with sauce and two types of cheese. So, you’re getting what you came for (probably less, considering KFC’s smallest meal is comprised of eight pieces), plus a few extras. And, you avoid the extra bread carbs and you don’t have to worry about those pesky bones.
14. Hot Dog Bites Pizza (Pizza Hut):
Pizza Hut isn’t anybody’s favorite pizza joint, unless of course, you live on a secluded military base or in certain parts of rural Nebraska where there are no other options within a 50-mile radius. But Pizza Hut keeps their lights on by offering hot, cheap, passable pizza. So, why not hot dogs on a pizza?
Besides, this hot dog pizza only exists because of public demand. Not direct demand, obviously; who would ask for hot dogs on a pizza? But the mega-minds at Pizza Hut corporate aren’t interested in giving you the pizza you want, but rather the pizza you need.
Since Pizza Hut gave the world the Stuffed Crust pizza in 1995, the next 20 years were exclusively spent on figuring out what else could be added to crust. And up until this pie, the best pizza scientists came up with was pepperoni. So, if you’ve ever eaten even the tiniest slice of Stuffed Crust pizza, you indirectly supported the eventual making of this delicacy known as Hot Dog Bites Pizza.
13. Halloween Whopper (Burger King):
Disliking the black-bunned Halloween Whopper is just silly. If you enjoy the traditional Whopper, you should be perfectly fine with the Halloween Whopper because it’s the exact same sandwich, only a shade darker. If the unnaturally shaded bun isn’t aesthetically pleasing to you, you can simply close your eyes while biting into your meal and you’ll never know the difference.
And if you’re concerned about the rumor going around that verdant-colored fecal matter may occur after consuming a Halloween Whopper, please know, the rumor is indeed 100% true. But hey; so what, who cares? It is Halloween, after all.
12. 3-Point Bloomin’ Onion (Outback):
While not technically a fast food restaurant, Outback Steakhouse’s 3-Point Bloomin’ Onion earned its place on this list the same way those 64 teams earned a spot in the NCAA college basketball tournament. This appetizer made it through sheer persistence.
Now, some people would say a deep fried Bloomin’ Onion is already a gigantic appetizer and should never be consumed immediately before a full steak and two fixings anyway. But those naysayers probably never considered loading that massive onion with bacon-infused cheesy fries and bite-sized sirloin tips. And that’s probably because those people either hate steak, or freedom, or the invisible hand of the capitalist market. Because this baby is certain to net Outback a cool mint.
11. Spicy Sriracha Burger (Jack in the Box):
A wise man once said: “If you can’t get a burger loaded with Sriracha, then that burger ain’t getting got!” I never got that wise man’s name, but he was standing in front of me at Jack in the Box and after he ordered two Spicy Sriracha Burgers with a large fry and coke, I decided to order the exact same thing. Funny story, I was initially there just to ask for directions to the Convention Center. Anyway, upon leaving the restaurant, I saw that same man doing nitrous shots out of a half dozen cans of whipped cream. It was at that point I realized he might not be such a wise man after all. Those Spicy Sriracha Burgers were delicious, though.
10. Whopper Poutine/Poutine a la Burger (Burger King):
In most Canadian Burger Kings you can get a side of poutine, which if you’re unfamiliar, consists of regular fries smothered in cheese curds and gravy. But for a while back in 2014-15 (at select locations) you could get a chopped up Whopper sprinkled atop your already delicious poutine treat. And back in 2014-15, times were good.
So why did BKCA abruptly end this delightful delicacy? Because of negative backlash on the internet, that’s why. People claimed it had too many calories, too much fat and waaaaaay too much sodium. When did whiners on the internet turn this world into a nanny state? Also, when will other people realize that the sane citizens of this planet enjoy eating things they like on top of other things they like?
9. Hula Burger (McDonald’s):
Here’s one from the way-back machine. The Hula Burger was introduced by Ray Kroc (yes, the Ray Kroc) in the 1960s in order to please Catholics on Fridays, during lent. It was a simple design: a big ol’ slice of pineapple and two half slices of cheese on a bun. It didn’t last long because its alternative, the Filet o’ Fish, proved to be far more popular even though it only came with one half slice of cheese. If you ever worked at McDonald’s you’ll know that at the end of the day this meant throwing out a ton of wasted half slices of cheese. Also, about 20 pounds of dehydrated onions, which has nothing to do with the Hula Burger or Filet o’ Fish, but is still quite wasteful.
8. 3×3 – 100×100 (In-N-Out Burger):
In-N-Out Burger is a popular fast food chain that began in California and now serves parts of Arizona, Texas, Nevada, Utah and Oregon. They’re best known for paying their employees a living wage and refusing to franchise or go public. But the true In-N-Out loyalists know them for their 3×3 burgers and beyond. Basically, on the regular menu they have a Double-Double burger consisting of two patties, two pieces of cheese, lettuce, tomato, etc. But on the (not so) secret menu you can add burgers and cheese slices till your hearts content. It got to a point where somebody once ordered a 100×100 and they actually made it for him, thus ending the practice once and for all. Restaurants like Burger King claim they’ll “make it your way.” But In-N-Out had the gall to follow through on their neighbor’s promise.
7. Mac ‘n Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt (Denny’s):
Most of the time Denny’s tends to fly under the radar. Most likely because whoever goes into their establishment is drunk at 4:17 AM and has no recollection of what they ordered, or if they, in fact, went to Denny’s at all. Their old ad campaign from back in the 90s even had people mistaking the restaurant’s name for Lenny’s.
All that changed a few years back when they started serving up this patty melt with some very unnaturally cheesy ‘mac and cheese’. But was it as much of a game changer as the photos suggest. Sadly, nobody will ever know, because anybody who ever ordered it has no recollection of the experience, or if they in fact, went to Denny’s at all.
6. Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich (Dunkin’ Donuts):
This little guy is a no-brainer. Eggs, bacon and glazed donuts separately are the greatest breakfast options known to man. The question everybody should be asking is: why hasn’t anybody attempted this before? Also, how can this world praise a combination croissant and doughnut and briefly elect it mayor of New York City, while at the same time condemn this 360 calorie, light sandwich? I mean, what did everyone expect from Dunkin’ Donuts? A breakfast sandwich not consisting of at least 1/3 doughnut? Now if somebody would just create a breakfast sandwich consisting of the second greatest breakfast items known to man, oatmeal, cherry danish and mimosa, we’d be all set.
5. Enormous Omelet Sandwich (Burger King):
Here’s another breakfast wonder that didn’t even last a year. It started out just fine with eggs, sausage, bacon, cheese, another layer of eggs, all atop Burger King’s patented torpedo-shaped bun that they use for most non-Whopper sandwiches. But cries of excess sodium and cholesterol sent this egg behemoth back to roost. Again, who are these people to determine what you ingest? A lot of people work long, grueling hours in horrendous offices and factories, just to make ends meet. And here’s the thing, some of these companies barely give people time for lunch, forcing many employees to choose between having a meal, going to the bathroom, or calling their children whom they hardly ever see. If only they could find a breakfast meal with enough kick to get them through these monstrous days. Sorry, hard-working citizens, the internet ruined it for you.
4. Waffle Taco (Taco Bell):
Believe it or not, the Waffle Taco is no longer available at Taco Bell restaurants. Instead, they’ve replaced it with the Biscuit Taco, which sounds about 1/8th as appetizing. When Taco Bell first announced their breakfast menu, the public was ecstatic and the Waffle Taco was the most talked about and anticipated offering. And then it was taken away for no apparent reason. In this case, there was no outcry that this item was unhealthy or disgusting, and it was massively popular to boot. Any reasonable human being should view this calculated move as a form of self-sabotage. Why, Taco Bell? Why? ¡Yo quiero un explanation!
3. The Crave Case (White Castle):
The beauty of the Crave Case can be boiled down to raw, unadulterated math. This package consists of 30 beef sliders, each with five holes in the patty, served in one sleek box at a cost of around $20. And in the end the equation comes out to a commendable 4,200 calories, which, if you’re a calorie counter at heart, you would know that’s around double the daily recommended intake for both men and woman (2,500 and 2,000, respectively). Now, why would almost double what you’re entitled ever be considered beneficial? Think back to college, when you had to cram for an exam for 48 straight hours, or perhaps you’ve experienced something similar with deadlines at your job. With a 48 hour deadline, you don’t have time to stop at a diner and hem and haw over the menu. It’s far easier to just grapple onto your trusty Crave Case and get to work.
2. Grilled Cheese Burger Melt (Friendly’s):
Has this ever happened to you? The only thing on your mind is a hearty grilled cheese sandwich; however, you’re sitting at a diner with friends and can’t justify ordering just a grilled cheese. Then again, you’re having a Trainspotting level craving for cheese melted onto toasted bread… but what would people say? Friendly’s understands this conundrum consummately. That’s why they offered the GCBM with such vigor, until (like many other novelty sandwiches) they were shamed into discontinuing the item. However, for a few short years it was the perfect dietary compromise. A burger patty for them and two mouth-watering grilled cheeses for you.
1. Buffalo Crunch Doughnut (Tim Hortons):
The last sandwich on this list isn’t a sandwich at all. And, unlike many of the other items on this list, was never available in its company’s chain restaurants. Tim Hortons’ Buffalo Crunch Doughnut gave its consumer all the greatness of a Buffalo chicken wing, only in doughnut form. And it was exclusively available at the Tim Hortons’ booth at the New York State Fair (located in Syracuse, NY) back in 2014. What became of this modern marvel? Nobody knows for sure, but it appears that the world wasn’t quite ready for the world’s perfect doughnut. Not yet…