Gordon Ramsey is well known as a chef, sure, a super-high-end chef even, but beyond all that he’s mostly known as that chef that meltdowns over the doneness of Scallops and for calling chefs who make mistakes “Stupid Donkeys” or “Cows” (really any barnyard animal). And while his years on television have reduced him to basically a caricature, there are still some rants that stand out above others in terms of their severity and that make you wonder just why chefs subject themselves to the psychological and emotional trauma that is being a line or sous chef in one of his (televised) kitchens. As he’s explained it in interviews, he doesn’t actually act like that all the time (especially with his wife), but considering how high pressure (and high paid) a lot of the jobs he’s offering are, he feels that it’s the best way to weed through weak-minded people in the kitchen. So, let’s take a look at the top 10 most infamous, and terrifying, Ramsay Rants that exist forever on the internet thanks to glory that is YouTube.
10. The Pumpkin Rissoto Incident
It’s clear that Ramsay has a certain level of loathing for people in his kitchen but that’s nothing as compared to what happens to customers who are in the wrong and attempt to cop an attitude. That was the case during the Pumpkin Rissoto Meltdown during an episode of Hell’s Kitchen, when a customer complained that he hadn’t gotten enough pumpkin in his pumpkin risotto (despite eating much of the plate). Considering that Ramsay checks the plates before they leave the pass, it’s probably not a great idea to question that in the first place but by also approaching the window and demanding another plate? The NEXT plate? That’s when you’re pushing your luck. While Ramsay does appear to at least at first attempt to be adhering to the “Customer is Always Right” adage that any person who has worked with people knows simply is not “Right”, but quickly abandons it after it’s clear that the “Customer” (who is eating for free, by the way) is being rude and asking for too much. That’s when Ramsay says what even for him, is a savage, savage burn worthy of calling in the paramedics that are there for each taping by saying “I’ll give you some pumpkin and I’ll ram it right up your… expletive, expletive”. That’s one Yelp review I’d love to read.
9. Breasts on a Hot-Plate
Ramsay is known for being tough on his chefs regardless of whether or not they’re male or female and while he does insult people based on their appearance, it’s not a disproportionately sexual thing when it comes to women over men. Perhaps this guest would’ve been better off knowing that during a filming of Hell’s Kitchen years ago during which she followed the same mistake as the first entry on this list by not only approaching the window at the pass but also by ignoring Ramsay’s polite request for … really anything. In this case, the woman approached the window wearing a low-cut top and after Ramsay asked for 30-seconds to finish something before he could put his undivided attention on her… Issue(s). Because she ignored him, Ramsay basically thought of the most entertaining way to get rid of her as possible and while it clearly enraged the woman, who not only flipped over a plate of food onto a tray but then pushed that tray towards Ramsay, and that’s something that you’d think she knew was coming. Then again, considering her age and that top, maybe she didn’t.
8. They Could Mate, I Guess?
While Ramsay has shown that he loves to insult rude guests, especially rude guests that refuse to walk away from the window while he’s working, he does save a lot of his best insults or rants for the people inside of his kitchen. While some people believe that Ramsay is bullying those around him, especially during movements that attempt to make employment areas “Safe Spaces”, part of what Ramsay is doing is making sure that the people he’s willing to entrust with his new restaurant are mentally tough enough to basically handle the job. So, while some of these burns are rough they’re also necessary at least in the mind of Ramsay. Beyond that, he’s not often wrong either, which helps his charm. So when he was served this “Salmon” at the pass during a taping of Hell’s Kitchen, his comparison to another animal, or at least PART of another animal, should make you realize that perhaps it’s not the best idea to submit that application for next season’s cast of Hell’s Kitchen… That is unless you’re a really big fan of Bison.
7. CANCEL THE MUSIC JUSTIN!
While Ramsay is tough on the chefs on Hell’s Kitchen and even tougher on bad customers on… Hell’s Kitchen, you’ll noticed a marked difference in his tone on one of his other shows, Kitchen Nightmares, a show in which he visits failing restaurants and basically tries to fix things before it’s too late. While he seems a lot more muted and compassionate on that show, he’s still Gordon Ramsay and that tone can only extend so far. A perfect scene from Kitchen Nightmares that shows that different, but waning, tone is from an episode in which he was attempting to explain to a restaurant owner that perhaps he shouldn’t force his customers to listen to his band during their meals with their friends and families. The problem he came across, was that the owner “Justin” clearly wanted to be a rock-star more than a restaurant owner and because of that both of his “dreams” (or at least his dream and his day-job) were both failing. It’s as if you can almost see Ramsay come to the conclusion that he was wasting his time because, Justin just wasn’t getting it. This is why people like Ramsay, because he tells it like it is and so if you’re looking for him to simply come in and save your restaurant while being nice about it, perhaps you should just go out of business, it could be easier to justify to your own ego.
6. You French Pig!
Now, in the last entry on this list it was stated that Ramsay typically takes a lesser tone with the owners of the restaurants that he attempts to fix on his show, Kitchen Nightmares. You’d have to think that because Ramsay himself is a restauranteur (and because the people he is attempting to help are often in dire straights and it’s not great optics to scream at a poor restaurant owner as a rich, super famous restaurant owner) that he has a soft spot in his heart for people fighting the same fight as him. However, that pity only really goes so far and that much was made clear during one of the more contentious confrontations in the history of a show that’s full of contentious confrontations. Now, Ramsay has won nearly 20 Michelin stars (or at least his restaurants have) so when someone tries to throw a “Best Chef in XYZ County” award in his face, you just know that that’s going to set him off. Which it does, and while this doesn’t get to blows there’s an awful lot of literal finger-pointing on Ramsay’s end as well as some great digs at the chef’s ethnicity. Also, as an American who is used to hearing nothing but “BEEP You Stupid BEEPing Cow” while watching these shows, these may seem harsher than usual, as well. But regardless of how you slice it, “French Pig” is funny. Cause he’s French, and a pig.
5. Jack’s Kitchen Inspection
Sometimes it’s hard to really tell in a five minute clip what’s going on behind the scenes, or why Ramsay may be going a bit harder at a certain restaurant owner than another, but if you’ve watched the full-episode of Kitchen Nightmares that focused on Jack’s Waterfront in small-town Michigan, you’ll see just why Ramsay is so apoplectic. First is the fact that AJ, the older guy in the video, is rubbing it in his (and everyone’s) face that he’s got 40-years in the business and while it’s clear that that’s his defense mechanism, it’s clear that Ramsay’s had enough of AJ’s attitude regardless of what he does to justify that his end of the house (the kitchen, the kitchen’s freezer) is a complete mess. Beyond that, it’s clear that the owner (Scott) was putting far too much trust (and money) in AJ, so that’s something that infuriates Ramsay as someone who invests millions in restaurants himself. Ramsay’s anger builds as he makes his way through the kitchen, especially when he holds that Risotto upside down and when AJ blames Scott for kitchen problems. The great thing about watching these episodes now (or on YouTube) is that you can see whether or not the changes that Ramsay made ended up sticking and if the Restaurant is still in business, sadly and appropriately, Jack’s is not. Perhaps people didn’t want to stop in after seeing that the Risotto they had for dinner could’ve been used to stucco the outside of their house.
4. The Non-Stick Pan
Considering that Ramsay is known as the screaming chef, you’d be surprised to hear that his voice ever gives out (since it appears that angrily yelling is basically his default speaking tone). But, if you’ve watched a lot of Ramsay on television you’ll know that really his voice is just a direct barometer of how he genuinely feels and while that may sound like the explanation for anyone’s tone while talking, not everyone is as honest in terms of their emotion (or bad at hiding them) as Ramsay. While that’s clear in basically every clip of Ramsay online, the best example isn’t actually of him screaming or even tearing up, but rather when his voice is giving up on him just like his brain is giving up on the chef during the infamous “Non-Stick” line that actually broke Ramsay’s vocal chords and spirits. The chef in question apparently had never heard of non-stick cookware and was turning over her scallops too often, as she was afraid they’d stick. You can tell by Ramsay’s tone that that chef didn’t make it much longer in the show and it’s probably better for everyone that she didn’t (as long as she’s not back at home, manufacturing anti-lock brakes).
3. The Toilet Brush
If this has shown you anything it’s that Ramsay is a master of insulting people. So while his insults are highly based on the personal appearance of the person he’s attacking, Ramsay is known in the kitchen for adding new flair to old classics and he tends to do that while insulting people from time to time as well. No better example of this exists out in the millions of clips of Ramsay insulting people on YouTube or other sites that his rapid-fire insult attack on a group of new chefs on Hell’s Kitchen during the first episode of season four. Ramsay had seen enough and decided to see if any of the men were willing to stand up (before he closed down the kitchen for the night) and essentially insulted his way through all the men with knee-slapper after knee-slapper before he finished by comparing the hair and apparent tendency of one of the chefs to “run around” to that of a toilet brush. While that may not have been his best, it’s definitely a thinker that gets funnier with time, something that is also applicable to a toilet brush. So, it also works on many levels… Like a toilet brush! Man, Ramsay is a genius.
2. WHERE IS THE LAMB SAUUUCE!
In the previous entry we went to extraordinary lengths to give Ramsay credit for his insulting abilities and while the final insult, which we’ve dubbed the Toilet Brush Incident, was a thinker, sometimes Ramsay needs to go back to what he’s good at and as the “French Pig” entry has shown, that’s combining someone’s physical appearance with the country that they were born in. No better example of that exists than an episode of Hell’s Kitchen in which Ramsay apparently really, really wanted some lamb sauce (side note: if you weren’t onboard with the hero to the interent that Ramsay is, this is the clip that’ll do it) and while he did receive that sauce, he wasn’t too pleased by the timing or the person who brought it to him as what followed was easily the best 12 consecutive words ever spoken on the television, internet or english language “Now fuck off you fat useless sack of yankee-dankee doodle sheit”. That one pretty much explains itself.
1. “I’m Not Dickface, Chef”
Now, this list has shown you a list of things that you should never do if for some reason you’re going from reading this list to filming in a kitchen with Gordon Ramsay and while we’ve had some fun there’s definitely one thing you don’t want to do when you’re around Ramsay and that’s stand-up to him when you’re in the wrong. Ramsay isn’t a crazy person, or at least, isn’t THAT crazy of a person and when he calls you an insulting name it’s because you’re doing something that angers him in the kitchen, it’s not a matter of pride or being a man, but rather just a not-so-subtle indication that he’s not pleased with your work and that you should try harder. So when a chef screwed up the special on what appeared to be one of the more important nights on the show, Ramsay referred to him as “Dickface” to another chef who was running the kitchen. When Ramsay told that chef to fix it, the chef who had screwed up said that he would but that he wasn’t “Dickface”. What followed was the most angry we’ve ever seen Ramsay and to be honest, it was so bad that it even scared us a little. So, do yourself a favor, if you’re ever cooking for Ramsay and he calls you a silly name, just let it slide. It’ll be better, for all of us, including Ramsay who has to be tired of yelling at this point.