Celebrity marriages come with an expiry date and it is no longer news to hear of a marriage that lasted just a few hours. One wonders what kind of indecision would make someone go through the whole marriage ceremony only to change their mind one hour later. Hollywood seems to dish out an all-access pass that gives celebrities the express right to have as many marriages and divorces as one deems fit. From Britney Spears and Jason Alexander who were only married for 55 Hours to Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries who married for 72 Days after a wedding that cost a whopping 10 Million dollars, celebrity marriages appear to be nothing but publicity stunts.
Even though the world is full of so many issues and it is true stuff happens and even though we go into a marriage with the best of intentions not all marriages last or are even meant to last forever, but some celebrities have become quite nonchalant when it comes to marriage such that for them, getting married today and divorced tomorrow is taken as the norm in the celebrity world.
Against this background, it comes as a breath of fresh air in the form of Kelly Ripa and her husband, Mark Consuelo who have been married for 21 years, a lifetime by Hollywood standards. So what is the secret to their marriage? We give you 10 secrets about Kelly Ripa’s marriage that sets them apart from all the other celebrities who are into quickie marriages.
10. They Have Lived Separately
They say familiarity breeds contempt and in Kelly’s case, she and Mark were lucky because they lived on different parts of the coast. Consuelo was acting in LA while Kelly’s show was based in New York City. Kelly told people that her husband, daughter, and son all lived in California where Mark worked on a show for Fox called Pitch. The two teenagers were on internship. While some of us would find it hard to live apart, Kelly said it’s not hard and that they were quite good at it. This separation could be the reason their marriage does so well because it is like the two are still dating and have to visit each other intermittently. Nothing kills romance faster than seeing the ugly side of someone or even getting too familiar with their bathroom habits. Once the honeymoon is over and we start to feel a little comfortable around our better half, that is when we start to see things we do not like about them that were hidden as we dated. In her case, she got them to see him once in a while and he never got to see her in a baggy t-shirt with food stains and swollen eyes.
9. His Post-Sex Habits
Love making in a marriage is very important. It is also a private thing between a man and a woman. A man feels virile and macho when his sexual habits, prowess or lack thereof remains a mystery. This way, he knows that there are people who are fantasizing about him and that they do not know what they would be getting if they ever got to that. This sense of mystery is what keeps a man’s ego inflated. The couple seems to enjoy a very healthy sex life but it would appear that Mark has a rather disturbing post habit that Kelly seems to have an issue with.
She told Live with Kelly that after she and Mark get their groove on, he immediately becomes mean to her which she insisted she did not like and that she found it bizarre. She could not understand why he would become irritated with her immediately after the act. For someone who has had such a successful married life, it seems weird that she chose to expose their intimacy issues on live television. One would think that after 21 years she knows that even the most secure man can get broken by a single comment.
8. Their Opposite Sleep Habits
Successful marriages are made by two individuals with totally different habits who come together and build something, after all, opposites attract. It is not surprising to find people who appear quite at odds or who do not look like they could ever wind up together getting married and actually making it, a case in point is Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher who seem like the most unlikely couple. In the case of Kelly and Mark, they have very different sleeping habits with Mark able to sleep anywhere and at any time while Kelly admits that she is a borderline insomniac.
While Mark can sleep on the floor, (which he has done even at an award show for which he was a nominee), Kelly has trouble sleeping and even if she does, she keeps waking up in between making her a very difficult sleep companion as she is wide awake while her partner snores. Marriages have broken over minor things like this but their different habits have not diminished her love for him or his love for her. They have found a way to live around both their sleeping habits and remain happy because when the couple is awake, they are like two peas in a pod.
7. They Eloped
Celebrities make a big deal of their marriages and lavish weddings that are splashed all over the front pages of magazines are the order of the day. When Kim Kardashian was spending 10 million dollars on a marriage that did not even go for three months, Kelly and Mark chose to imitate various teenagers and eloped to Las Vegas saving a lot of money in the process not to mention the time and effort that holding a lavish wedding would have involved.
According to vanity fair, Kelly said they eloped because Marks brother and sister had just gotten married and even on screen, the characters she played in ‘Married with children’ had gotten married several times and she felt that she had gone through enough weddings. They, therefore, did not want a big party for their wedding. Weddings should be intimate affairs because this is a union between souls. Even though we tend to make weddings all about the people coming to celebrate with us, making it an intimate affair must have made it quite special for this two lovebirds and the thrill that comes with eloping must be something they re-live more than two decades later.
6. They Put Their Kids To Bed Early
Children are great and many marriages have been saved by the presence of these adorable little humans. Unfortunately, many marriages have been broken over the same adorable humans. It could be because of the labor pains or the nine months we spend carrying them in our wombs but when a woman has children, she seems to relegate every other person to second fiddle. Men especially complain that when their wives have kids, they tend to forget who came first and they start taking their husbands for granted. While all this could be true, it is also true that the woman is usually tired after working all day keeping the house in shape and taking care of the kids that by the time she is through feeding them, helping them with their homework and bathing them, all she needs is to rest.
When it comes to Kelly and Mark, they found a formula to ensure that they do not take each other for granted. According to monostatic, Kelly shared with them that at times they put their kids to bed early so that they can watch an episode of Jersey Shore on DVR. This according to her is their way to ensure they have a date night and she says it has made them better parents.
5. They Keep It Frisky
After a long day at work and coming home to feed the kids, and help put them to bed, not many people are ever in the mood to get busy in the bedroom. It is not that the love dies rather it is the obligations that come with kids that tend to take over everything. If not checked, these obligations can ruin a good marriage and Kelly knows this all too well. The hottest affairs and relationships are the ones where the couple is able to keep the fire burning. Watching this two lovebird’s one can see why they are still together this long. Their attraction is palpable and is there for everyone to see. According to Hollywood life, a source close to the two lovebirds said that the secret to Mark and Kelly’s marriage is the fact that they love each other a lot. They have an amazing chemistry that gets hotter day by day even more than when they first fell in love. the source went on to say that the two have a very active sex life, are very playful and happy. Their passionate personalities seem to be the uniting factor and it is what is keeping them together.
4. They Offer Each Other Support
Marriages are not for the birth of children; this is what most people forget. Children are the fringe benefits that come with love. The essence of marriage is companionship and support. While most people tend to think that what they need in a marriage is to procreate, it is those who know that children eventually leave and you have to battle the empty nest syndrome that knows the secret to a happy marriage and that is supporting each other through it all in the presence or absence of children.
Kelly found her support in Mark when she was going through hardships at work. She told People magazine that Mark is a smart guy who helped her sort through her issues. This is high praise coming from a wife as many women do not find support in their husbands and neither do they offer the same to their husbands. Forgetting the primary function of marriage is the reason why most marriages break up and it appears that Kelly found what every woman looks for and she is doing her best to make sure that she makes her marriage work. By supporting each other, the couple has managed to break the Hollywood curse two decades and counting.
3. They Give Each Other Space
Absence makes the heart grow fonder and Kelly and Mark have discovered this secret and they utilize this secret to the maximum. To keep the fire in their marriage burning, they give each other a little space. While most of us make a big deal when our better halves decide to go and have a drink with the boys or play a game or two Kelly told Good Housekeeping that she does not give him a hard time if he wants to go and see his friends. She says that he does not have to take her everywhere he goes or do everything with her.
Unlike other married women, Kelly prefers that they both spend their time separately. Most relationship experts advise that it is important that a couple spends a little time apart in order to keep the fire burning. Spending too much time together makes couples lose that mystery that brought them together in the first place. By allowing Mark to have a little freedom, to go out and be with his buddies or watch the World Cup, Kelly has managed to ensure that Mark always comes back to her. This is the best strategy of marriage we know and it is probably time that married couples stole this one from her.
2. They Do Not Nag
There is an old joke that men do not listen to what women say and that is the reason that women nag. Women justify this nagging saying that telling a man to do one thing makes him do the other and that what one requires done takes a year before he gets down to it. Hearing of a woman who does not nag is a rare thing as this appears to be something we are born with. Nagging has been known to lead to divorce as it is a sure way to ensure that the love two people shared no longer exists.
Kelly seems to have found the secret formula where even though she admits that little fights do take place, she never knowingly stirs the pot. She told Good Housekeeping that she doesn’t give him a hard time about doing chores around the house or taking out the trash. Many of us wish we could have this luxury but with kids and work marriage should be about given and take. While Kelly probably has a housekeeper who takes out the trash, many of us do not have anyone else to help and this is where we expect the men in our lives to pitch in.
1. They have date nights
None of us can remember the last time we went on a date with the father of our children. Who even has the time to plan a date? Making dinner plans is often taken over by either work or one of the kids gets a fever or has a dance recital and we have to coach them. Marriage with children is not a walk in the park because when a woman has children, she becomes busier than a bee and this is where most women find themselves being accused of neglecting their spouses. To be honest, taking care of a household as well as a man is no easy feat. Kelly found the balance by scheduling regular date nights to keep the fire burning despite her busy schedule.
She advised that couples should make sure that they have at least one date night a week even if they do not go out. She feels that having a delicious candlelit dinner accompanied by a glass of wine and having a conversation that does not center around the kids will bring the couple closer. She also advises cuddling up after the date and promises that this will do wonders for the marriage and it will count as date night.