Entertainment
10 Discontinued Candies We Miss
Candy was a staple of most of our childhoods. The sweet treats that line the counters in convenient stores are litter reminders of when you would pull at your parents’ pant legs and request a snack. Candy has the potential of bringing on waves of nostalgia. Like… remember when Mom bought that treat and then we did (insert memorable event from your childhood here). But some candy is discontinued. Here is a little reminder of what treats are oh so good, but also oh so unavailable.
10. Garbage Can-dy
Ready for a blast from the past? Remember the little garbage bins that came in many colors and fit perfectly into your little child sized hands? If you lifted the top of the bin you could see inside to your treats, which were shaped like garbage. Bottles and fish bones. I guess recycling and compost was not being separated then. Funny isn’t it? This candy would not really work with today’s youth because garbage does not actually look the way to use to. Now we have bins upon bins upon bins which are all used for different purposes: garbage, compost, recycling… Perhaps this line of candy could be repurposed and you could pick which bin you wanted and the insides would correspond to whatever you throw in that particular bin? Times change and with them candies change too. What worked for children and the parents in the past does not necessarily fly any more. Even the beloved Oscar the Grouch from Sesames Street who lived in a garbage can and sang songs like “I love trash” has spent some times in a recycling bin. Onwards and upwards!
9. Wonderball
This next one on our list of discontinued candies that we miss ever so much is the Wonderball. The Wonderball was a chocolate ball that contained a small toy on the inside. Wonderballs were originally called Nestlé Magic Balls. They launched in the mid-nineties and were discontinued as early as 1997. Usually a familiar cartoon character that was either Disney or Pokémon. Why could this have been an issue though? Chocolate and a toy!? How yummy and how fun! Why? Why would they take this off the market? Well, the reason is actually pretty valid… the small toy on the inside were considered choking hazards for young children. In 2000 the company re-released this treat but rather than have a toy on the inside they changed it to candy. This version of the candy lasted a few years until Nestle finally sold the product to The Frankford Company, who eventually discontinued the Wonderball altogether. The original Wonderball was much like the Canadian Kinder Surprise Eggs. Kinder Surprise Eggs are still available in Canada and Mexico, however they are banned in the United States and it is illegal to import them. The official fine for bringing a Kinder Surprise Egg into the US is two thousand and five hundred dollars. Can you believe that!? Apparently there are roughly sixty-thousand of these treats confiscated each year! Americans miss their Wonderball that is for sure!
8. Hubba Bubba Squeeze Pop
Remember? They came is very little bottles, almost like the small travel size toothpaste? But this was not something you would ever want to use to brush your teeth. That sounds absolutely horrible, doesn’t it? Well, being a kid and squirting the tube into your mouth to eat it is not so far off from actually brushing with it. This candy must have been discontinued for the obvious reason that it was just the worst thing for your teeth. There are so many candies that are bad for your dental health as well as your overall physical wellbeing… However, this is really the next level. This candy would coat your teeth in sugar. Remember how it would make your mouth change color? Though there are so many candies we miss, this one may not be the one we are dying to have return to the shelves. Right? Perhaps there are some die-hard fans out there? If you count yourself as one of them do not be shy. It is totally normal to want to destroy your enamel and get cavities because it makes you think of being a child. No judgment. None. At all. We get why you miss this. We miss it too! Do we actually miss it or miss it ironically? Hard to tell, but we miss it all the same.
7. Bazooka Bubble Gum
Now, some may be thinking – Hey, I saw Bazooka Bubble Gum for sale at Walmart just last week. Well, yes. You are correct. This gum is not actually discontinued. What is discontinued are the infamous comic strips that came with the gum. So even though you are still able to buy the actual gum you cannot get the comic strip and where is the fun in that!? Bazooka Bubble Gum was introduced during the Second World War out of a company based in Brooklyn. The gum was packaged in patriotic red, white, and blue, and there was always a comic wrapped around your gum. The comic was very popular and some may even say the biggest selling point of this candy. In the comic you could follow the adventures and follies of one specific character: Bazooka Joe. There are a total of One Thousand Five Hundred and Thirty Five of these comic strips. You can try to collect them if you dare. Surely having such a stash would be worth a fortune considering you can no longer buy the gum with the comic included. Apparently, the company thought the company thought the comic was no longer appealing to young people. They revamped their brand by taking away its most prominent feature. Those of you out there who bought the gum during World War two surely miss the trusty character it came with. Those who have no idea what or who this guy Bazooka Joe was… well… straight up… you missed out.
6. Bonkers
Anyone remember the tag line “Bonkers Bonks you out”? If you do then you may also remember the hilarious, weird, and somewhat frightening commercials for this candy? The washed out living room and very drab people who look like they belong in Twin Peaks rather than a kids candy commercial? Remember? If not… Well, perhaps you saved yourself from nightmares. If you are curious you really should go see. Bonkers was notable because of its commercials which featured boring people who were then literally bonked out by the flavor of the candy. Really… giant fruit fell from the sky and landed on their heads. That’s good advertising, no? It has the ability to stick with you and it is showing you how impactful their product is! If you are a visual learning then this display of marketing is really the one for you. No facts or figures just a straight up example of what happens when you eat this candy: namely, fruit will fall from the sky and land on top of you. You will be floored by the flavor. You will be banked out by Bonkers. Apparently the rights to this candy were bought and there were rumors that it would be coming back into circulation. Boy, who wouldn’t want to see the commercials now!? Would they keep the same idea behind the campaign? Only time will tell! Watch out for this candy in stores and whether you want to reminisce or you actually just never knew about this candy and its commercials you should check them out online. You will not regret watching the Bonkers commercial which is just so bonkers that it works.
5. M & M Crispy
Up next we have M & M Crispy! This treat was only discontinued because it was intended to be a limited edition. There was nothing wrong with the candy and clearly the company is still rocking and rolling so there is no shocking reason why it disappeared from the shelves. Never fear though! This candy comes back around now and then. How could it not? When a candy is as successful as this one was do you really think that the company would just let it die? Not a chance! Money must be made where and when it can. M & M Crispy candies were originally marketed and sold in 1999. They were taken off the market in the United States but remained available in Europe for some time. Now you have to hunt for them and hope that for some holiday or special anniversary or even some marketing event like the Super Bowl or something that the product will resurface. Look for them. They are bound to return. Some discontinued candies do not stay discontinued forever. A timely resurrection is bound to happen. If the people keep demanding it then the company is bound to give it.
4. Milkshake Chocolate Bar
The Milkshake chocolate bar was introduced in the 1920’s, right around the time the Milky Way bar was also launched. It was produced by the now out of business Hollywood Candy Company. Both bars were marketed in a similar color scheme and had relatively matching flavor profiles. They both were made from milk chocolate, caramel, and nougat. The biggest difference was that Milkshake’s nougat was malted. Some may even say this bar tasted kind of like a Three Musketeers bar. Apparently if you put this chocolate bar into the freezer you could enjoy it cold on hot summer days. You could really put anything into the freezer though if you really wanted to. This bar had nothing truly exceptional going for it, but also nothing really wrong with it either. It was slowly phased out by Leaf Candy Company who acquired Hollywood Candy Company in 1988. Some may remember grandpa or grandma eating a Milkshake Bar. Or even mom or dad. They were yummy. They were a classic. They just did not have the little something special they needed to stay around.
3. Giant Pixy Stix
Yes. Yes. Yes. You can still buy these items. They are not actually discontinued. That being said they are half the size they once were. Therefore, they are exactly half the fun and precisely half candy they use to be. Can we then say they are half discontinued? That we miss half of the candy? That we want that other half back because now it is not as exciting as it was to eat the Giant Pixy Stix? Can we even say that this stick is giant anymore? What constitutes as giant? Has the average child shrunk over time and that is the reason why the sick had to get shorter too? No, the answer is no! Kids are not necessarily shrinking but the amount of sugar a person is accepted to ingest is. When you think about it that way then it is alright that the stick is half the size. We guess. Maybe it is okay. It is a conflicting situation because there is a valid reason why the Giant Pixy Stix is smaller, however, if you grew up with the stick being bigger you are mad it is smaller. Oh the problems we have. This would be called a third world problem. No? Oh boo hoo, poor me, my Pixy Stix is not as big as it once was. In this exaggeration of feeling imagine yourself throwing up a hand to your forehead in mock mental exasperation. The drama of it all! While humor can be found in this predicament it is still a valid question. It may have you thinking about your values. Are you the kind of person who says no to the shorter Pixy Stix because of history and your childhood memories or are you the kind of person who is looking ahead at the rise of obesity rates and health problems cause by sugar and now wishing they made the stick even smaller?
2. Chiclets
No Halloween looting was every complete without boxes upon boxes of Chiclets. Many people will remember the two piece pack that was surely among Halloween hoards for years! Back in the day when Halloween lasted longer into the evening, kids generally went out in big groups, and pillow cases were not only used but often not even big enough for the candy given out. Back in those times Chiclets were extremely popular. They were one of the candies that had mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, or even your friend’s parents’ saying, “Hey – Kid – You have any Chiclets in there for me?” You would give them away gladly, because really if you were going to have gum did you want to have Chiclets? You did not then… but now you do! Now you remember them fondly and think about them with warm thoughts. How clever it was to have fun in a two piece pack. Oh, they were so perfect for their time. They are missed and remembered every Halloween, that is for sure.
1. Jumbo Nerds
Now, it is finally time to commemorate Jumbo Nerds on this list of discontinued candies that we miss. Those in the know know that Jumbo Nerds were just bigger versions of regular Nerds. It is the same idea, the same candy, the size box… But, different. There was a magic to having the bigger Nerds. It went kind of like this: “Oh, hey look Nerds… I guess I will get Nerds… Oh! No Way! Wait a second! Get out of here Jumbo Nerds! Moooooom! Can I get the Jumbo Nerds?” Right? Jumbo Nerds were clearly cooler and more exciting than the regular Nerds. There is no scientific evidence to back this up. No reason… They just were. They were special like the kind of special when it is Halloween and you see your parents, or your teacher, or your boss dress up in a costume. They were special like when there is a snow day and you are watching TV and you find out that your favorite show is not only on, but they are doing a marathon! Jumbo Nerds were special like when you pull out a tooth on the first try or when you fall of your bike and you realize you did not even get one little scratch. They were cool. They were magical. They kind of gave you a feeling that you were special and that though some kids may have the regular Nerds, you were having the Jumbo Nerds. You and the Jumbo Nerds. That sounds like the title of a really great Captain UnderPants book or something. Or if we want to go back in time we can say it sounds like a show that played on Nickelodeon at night, Nic and Night. No? Ahhh… the memories. Let them wash over you!