Everyone loves a bit of candy every once in a while, and there are plenty of different kinds to choose from out there. However, as anyone knows, some candies eventually get discontinued. sometimes it’s due to poor sales, and sometimes, much like these examples, it is due to something far more ridiculous. These are 10 Discontinued Candies That Took It Too Far!
10. Trolli Road Kill Gummies
The list starts off with a rather odd choice for gummy candy shapes. As any candy lover knows, there are plenty of gummy shapes out there: frogs, bears, worms, sharks, and any other variety of animal. There are gummy soda bottles and gummy feet. The list is seemingly never-ending. It seems like candy manufacturers could never run out of ideas for candy shapes. If that’s the case, then why was the world ever graced with an idea as bad as Trolli’s road kill gummies? Yes, you read that right, these little gummy candies were shaped, charmingly, like pieces of road kill. You know how when you’re taking a long road trip and there’s fresh road kill on the street, and you think “that would make a great candy?” Of course you don’t, because then you would be a crazy person. Unfortunately, the folks at Trolli really thought this would be a great idea. Maybe they assumed that people would get kind of a gross thrill out the candies. However, their calculations were way off, and instead, the gummies did nothing except make people mad. Parents obviously didn’t want their kids eating candy shaped like road kill and people old enough to see the irony didn’t find it all that amusing. They were eventually pulled off of store shelves, and Trolli decided that it was in their best interest to stick to more conventional gummy shapes.
9. Candy cigarettes
This one probably seems obvious to anyone who grew up with this specific type of candy. For those who might not know, here’s a brief history lesson: smoking used to be far more widespread, and the dangers of it hadn’t exactly been ingrained in the public consciousness yet. As a result, lots of people smoked and didn’t really see any problems with it. Doctors would even recommend certain brands of cigarettes as being ‘healthier.’ In short, it was a very strange time. Because there wasn’t as much of a stigma against cigarettes yet, candy manufacturers thought it would be fun to basically make candy sticks that looked like cigarettes. They didn’t even try to hide what they were doing. These things were actually marketed as candy cigarettes. Imagine seeing kids bumming candy cigarettes off one another on the playground. “Man, that mat homework was tough. First addition and subtraction, but now they’re throwing multiplication at us? Let me get one of those, I need a fix.” Ultimately, people started to realize that selling candy cigarettes to kids might be setting them up to become smokers in the future, and with more and more people becoming aware of the real dangers of smoking, it was an easy call to take them off the market. Of course, they still continued to be sold, but they were just marketed as plain old ‘candy sticks,’ often with a picture of Popeye on the box.
Don’t assume that the failure of candy cigarettes kept candy companies from making stupid decisions in the future as well. Sure, that might have been an obvious decision to make back in the day, but in the new millennium, candy producers had to try and push the envelope and make candy products that would be edgy, different, and appeal to both kids and adults. After all, if you can diversify your customer base, then you’ll be sitting pretty. Enter the lollipipe, an incredibly transparent attempt to be both edgy and attract grown-up customers to a candy product. This piece of candy, much in the same vein as the classic candy cigarettes, seemed to send the message that pipes are cool, particularly those that are used to smoke marijuana or other more illicit drugs. That’s right, this thing was just a piece of hard candy molded into the shape of a classic glass pipe. How is it that candy executives who make these kinds of decisions make hundreds of thousands of dollars every year? Obviously, this completely ridiculous and ill-considered candy was taken off of the shelves. The funny thing is that due to the fact that it’s made of sugar, it wouldn’t even work as a normal pipe, and would most likely just end up melting. So really, the lollipipe is a massive failure on two levels. Way to go, guys!
7. Nestle Magic Balls
Nestle is not a company that is known for making poor decisions with their products (setting aside some of their more unsavory actions in the past), and yet they are still not able to escape the kinds of missteps that could easily sink smaller companies. Case in point: the Nestle Magic Ball. Much like the Kinder Surprise Egg (more on those later), these balls of chocolate were filled with candy and prizes that would make eating candy a much more exciting experience for kids (as if candy needed to be more fun, but that is, of course, another debate entirely). These things were actually a pretty good seller for a while, delivering prizes that were often licensed by big entertainment companies like Disney. However, the FDA eventually started to get wind of these things. Of course, there are ways to get around certain FDA regulations, but combining non-food products inside of food, particularly ones that are aimed at children, has always been a big no-no for the administration. The magic balls eventually had to be pulled from shelves until they could get some kind of FDA approval. Of course, the balls did eventually find their way back into stores, so the ban wasn’t permanent. However, it probably cost the company a good amount of money, considering that the products would have to be recalled and then reformulated in order to meet FDA rules.
6. Hippy Sippy
Let’s take a journey back to the 60s. It was a far different time than today. Even though the early sixties only saw the rising popularity of the beat movement and entirely new forms of expression, the late sixties erupted in declarations of peace, free love, and expanding one’s mind through the use of drugs like LSD. Needless to say, hippies and hippy culture were starting to actually influence the market. Sometimes that worked, and other times it just failed miserably. Let’s talk about one of those miserable failures! Hippy Sippy was a candy that was marketed to kids who wanted to jump on the hippy bandwagon. Basically, it was a tube of sweet liquid that kids could bite into and sip (hence the name). It wasn’t entirely dissimilar from other candies on the market that did the same thing, except for the fact that the Hippy sippy delivery system happened to be shaped like a heroine needle. Yikes! Yeah, needless to say, the Hippy Sippy did not stay on store shelves very long. It’s bad enough to be selling the idea of smoking cigarettes to kids, but selling them the idea that playing with syringes or hanging out and just getting “strung out” on candy was just a total mistake. There’s a reason why these things have mostly faded into obscurity. Probably for the best!
5. Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars
First of all, we need to address the fact that calling candy Toxic Waste seems like it would be the thing that undid this particular brand of sweet treat. However, that’s not actually the case. After all, despite the failures of road kill gummies and other similar candies with poorly chosen names, Toxic Waste was actually a fairly popular brand of extremely sour candy, similar to Warheads. The good folks who made Toxic Waste eventually decided to branch out and make other products using their signature formula. That led to the creation of Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars (wow, they really go all in on these candy names, don’t they?). The problem once again wasn’t the name. Although it would suggest that this thing was not healthy, that should have already been obvious from the fact that it was, you know, candy. The big issue with these bars, specifically one of the flavors that were sent out from the manufacturers, is that there were actually trace amounts of lead in each bar. Yeah, that really lends a realistic air to the ‘toxic’ moniker that these bars were branded with. Seriously, this is the kind of thing that should never happen, but the fact that it happened to a candy that marketed itself on the grossness and toxicity of its own name seems fitting.
4. Haribo Sugar-Free Gummy Bears
Gummy bears: you know ’em, you love ’em. They’re chewy, fruity, sweet, tasty, and go really great on frozen yogurt. You can bite their heads off, squish two of them together for flavor combinations, and you can even buy giant gummy bears online. All in all, they’re a pretty classic candy and one that doesn’t really need to be meddled with all that much. Like their wormy cousins, gummy bears are perfect in their simplicity and their inherent fun. Of course, there are people out there who would enjoy gummy bears if they could, but have to practice a lot of restraint due to all of the sugar in them. Haribo, the maker of gummy bears, thought that this was unfair. Gummy bears should be for all the people! It’s a very diplomatic thought to have, and it resulted in the making of sugar-free gummy bears. So what made these responsible candies bad enough to be taken off of the market? Well, it was the fact that one of the ingredients used to replace the sugar was actually a powerful laxative, and anyone who ate the sugar-free gummy bears was going to need to find a bathroom very quickly afterward. It just goes to show that sometimes it’s just better not to eat the candy at all. After all, a nice piece of fruit or a healthier snack option probably isn’t going to send you running for the nearest public toilet.
Anyone who has ever gone trick or treating (which, let’s face it, is most of the people reading this) knows the pain of getting a bag full of smarties, the unappealing little chalky circles that are mildly fruit flavored. These things are no one’s favorite candy, and yet when Halloween rolls around people love to hand them out. Most likely because a ten-pound bag of them costs next to nothing. Of course, while these things might not be that fun to eat, high school kids found another, totally irresponsible and stupid way to “enjoy” them. In two different school districts, one in Oregon and one in Michigan, the candies had to be banned due to the fact that teens were crushing them up and snorting them. Yeah, it might not be a real discontinuation of the product, but it is incredibly stupid nonetheless. Leave it to teenagers to find a way to make Smarties even worse. Of course, stores were not banned from selling them, the kids were just banned from bringing them to school. What kind of pleasure could even be derived from doing something this dumb? Apparently, all that happened is that a lot of kids got nosebleeds and some pretty severe sinus problems.
2. Kinder Surprise Eggs
We briefly mentioned Kinder surprise eggs earlier in this article, and now we’re going to talk about them in this entry. Anyone who was lucky enough to get a Kinder Egg on Christmas or on a birthday knows that they are not only fun, but even the chocolate shell, combined with a layer of cream on the inside, was actually pretty delicious! Waiting inside that chocolate shell, of course, was a fun toy that could be put together and played with. Some people even built up huge collections of these little toys. Once again, though, it was issues with FDA regulations that kept Kinder Eggs from being sold in the United States. The entire regulation, as mentioned previously, had to do with the fact that the chocolate was being combined with non-edible components. Even though the pieces of the toy and the instructions for how to put it together were contained in a tightly sealed container, it still presented the possibility of choking hazards or cross-contamination. People tried to bring the Kinder Eggs into the States, but smuggling them in came with a hefty fine and possible criminal prosecution. As fun as the toys could be and as tasty as that Kinder chocolate was, the risk was not worth it.
Finally, we come to a candy infamous not for its ingredients, but for its packaging. Maoam was a fruit-flavored candy sold in England, and it was known for the little green mascot that adorned all of its packaging. While he was pretty adorable, when combined with the personified fruit on the package, he got into some pretty compromising situations. If you can tell by the image in this entry, It’s pretty obvious that there is some pretty unsavory business going on in the images on these candy wrappers. One father actually brought this to the attention of the media, though it is strange that no other parents or people with children seemed to think there was a problem, particularly with the image of the little green mascot having too good of a time with a lemon or a pair of cherries. The company did eventually change the image on their packaging, making it a much more innocuous image of the same mascot riding a skateboard. However, they did keep their relatively suggestive slogan as “full on… Till it’s gone,” whatever that’s supposed to mean.