Business
10 Biggest Fast Food Failures Of All Time (Part 3)
The world of fast food is full of all kinds of oddities that were meant to drive traffic into the store. Some of those oddities become fan favorites, and they stick around as long as there is a demand for them. Sometimes those items fall flat, and that’s what we’re going to talk about in this list of 10 Biggest Fast Food Failures Of All Time (Part 3).
10. McDonald’s McLean Deluxe
Anyone who goes to McDonald’s to eat healthily is fooling themselves. It’s like someone saying they smoke light cigarettes to give their lungs a break. You go to McDonald’s to fill up on all of life’s guilty pleasures. You know what we’re talking about; salt, fat, and sugar. Those three things represent all the major cravings that McDonald’s soothes in one bite. Why would anyone go to the golden arches without the desire to have their arteries clogged bite after bite? It seems like a cruel joke to play on people by offering them healthy fast food. But, McDonald’s is guilty of doing some pretty bizarre things like every other restaurant in its category. Are you sitting down for this? The McLean Deluxe was McDonald’s attempt at serving health food. The burger boasted 91% less fat than other premium sandwiches. That sounds like a good idea. Doesn’t it? Well, it seems that fat is where the flavor is. You can’t take away all the fat and produce something that tastes good. McDonald’s also put some seasonings in it from seaweed. Yeah, nothing says out of control health kick like adding seaweed to a burger. The sandwich wasn’t a hit, and it quickly faded away into obscurity. If you washed down the sandwich with a diet Coke, you’d need to search for reasons to live. That’s how bad it was.
9. Dairy Queen Breeze
We couldn’t let McDonald’s stand out in the cold as the only fast-food giant who decided to go healthy on us. Dairy Queen, we’re looking at you. No one goes to Dairy Queen with the intent on eating a healthy meal. How can you dip your chicken tender in gravy and expect it to be anything other than unhealthy? It looks like there are some people who might stop for only a sweet treat and nothing else. No, those people aren’t losers. They are ordinary people who somehow can look past the delicious burgers and only see a sweet and delightful treat. Those people have the will power to conquer almost anything. Dairy Queen released a product called the Breeze that wasn’t a big hit. Shocker? It shouldn’t be considering that this was a healthier version of a Blizzard. The Breeze used frozen yogurt instead of soft-serve ice cream. We know, don’t get mad at the messenger. How could they do anything so crazy as to sell something without their world-famous soft serve? Chalk it up to a bright idea made by someone who was anything but bright. A Blizzard without their delicious ice cream is like a cone without dip. Don’t get us started on people who don’t like their cone dipped in chocolate!
8. Taco Bell’s Bell Beefer
These days Taco Bell wants you to think outside the bun. There was once a time when they wanted you to think inside the bun. The Bell Beefer was one of their first menu items. It came back in the ’90s and fizzled out once again. You don’t go to Taco Bell for a burger? You go there because you want something that isn’t a burger. It’s kind of like ordering the cheeseburger while getting Chinese takeout. Sure, it’s on the menu, but that doesn’t mean you have to order it. The reason it’s on the menu is that there’s that one weirdo who ate glue in school but won’t eat anything at all foreign to them. That one guy is the reason why burgers end up on menus that seem so out of place. Some of you may be surprised that the Bell Beefer has a cult following online. Could it be because of its name? Say Bell Beefer five times in a row while trying not to laugh. Go ahead, give it a try, and see what happens. There’s something funny about the name Bell Beefer, but that wasn’t enough to get the sandwich to stick around. You’ll have to order a side of Taco Bell’s ground beef, a little cheese, and some onions to put on a hamburger bun while at home. Try not to choke from laughing too hard while saying Bell Beefer while you eat your homemade monstrosity.
7. Wendy’s Frescata
Can you believe there was once a time when Subway was crushing it with their sandwiches? That was back when Jared was showing everyone his pants from when he was fat. Jared has since turned in his fat pants for a uniform and a prisoner number. You can’t blame Wendy’s for wanting to cash in on the freshness craze. Subway at the time was seen as a healthy alternative to fast food that the public seemed to take hold of. It didn’t hurt that Subway sandwich shops were popping up all over the place. It wouldn’t be long before there were more Subway restaurants than McDonald’s. Wendy’s rolled out the Frescata and received lackluster feedback about them. The public seemed to like having a healthier alternative, but the drawback was they took longer to prepare. You go to fast food joints because, well, they’re fast. It took too much time for the people in the kitchen to make a Frescata. That is what pushed the sandwich off of the menu in the long run. It might not have been a massive hit with the public, but it was the slowing down of delivery times that made the Frescata go the way of the dodo bird.
6. Pizza Hut Priazzo
How can a company who churns out delicious pies release anything that isn’t a total hit? Pizza hut launched what many think of as a dud with the Priazzo. What is the Priazzo? It’s a Chicago style deep dish pizza. No, don’t you call it a casserole. Jon Stewart doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Deep dish is pizza and all those people in Chicago know it. Can’t we allow hungry eaters to decide what is a pizza and what isn’t? Hopefully the one thing we all can agree on is that pizza should never be eaten with a knife and fork. What’s next, are we going to extend our pinky finger while taking a sip of cola with our pizza? What was the problem with the Pirazzo? It certainly wasn’t the flavor since it was a hit with the pizza-eating community. The problem was one that Pizza Hut should’ve seen coming and that the pizza took far too long to make. The pizza was expensive to produce, and it wasn’t exactly a cinch for the people in the kitchen to whip up. Pizza Hut isn’t fast food like it’s Yum! Brands cousins KFC and Taco Bell, but customers still expect their pies to come to the table within a decent time. Pizza Hut nixed the Priazzo when delivery times suffered, leaving many hungry people to scramble to find a comparable deep dish pizza.
5. Frito Burrito by Taco Bell
Anything with Fritos in it has to be good? Right? How many of you ate taco boats as a kid that had Fritos instead of taco shells? If you’ve never had it, then you’ve never lived. A taco boat is one of those things that changes a person’s life. Forget all of the things that people claim changes their lives like getting married or having kids, Fritos serviced up with seasoned beef, tomatoes, cheese, onions, and sour cream will impact your life like nothing can. If you aren’t from the American SouthWest, then you probably don’t know anything about Frito pie either. It’s another concoction that features satisfying Mexican flavors with the added crunch of Fritos. Anyone who didn’t have the good fortune of eating a Frito Burrito should hang their head in sorrow. It was a chili cheese burrito that also had Fritos in it. Did the chips get soggy? No, they didn’t. How can you stare at something this delicious long enough for the chips to get soggy? You inhale the burrito pronto while wondering if it would make you look too greedy to get up and order another one right away. Sadly, you won’t be ordering any of these delicious burritos any time soon. Hopefully, Taco Bell will bring back this menu item and get us one step closer to world peace.
4. Burger King Burger Bundles
Every burger joint wants to have a slider that’s quick and easy to eat. Burger King is no different, and that’s why they introduced Burger Bundles. Imagine enjoying Burger King’s already delicious cheeseburgers but in a smaller form. That’s essentially what a Burger Bundle was, and it didn’t take long before they were a hit. Those who liked these miniature burgers the most were college students and those on the go. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that a small sandwich is easier to eat while you’re driving. It wouldn’t be too surprising if many a trucker got a sack of Burger Bundles and munched on them in between talking on their CB radio while driving. What did in Burger Bundles? It was another case of corporate headquarters, not understanding what it takes to prepare their food. The burgers were too small and would end up sliding off of the grill. Burger King is world-famous for their charbroiled burgers, and the burgers would fall off the grill and into oblivion. The sandwiches proved far too difficult for kitchen staff to prepare, and they were eventually taken off the menu. It looks like if you’ve got a craving for sliders, the best and truly only place to get them is at White Castle.
3. Jack in the Box Frings
Someone got paid to come up with this idea. Think about that the next time you’re sitting at your job, thinking about how much it sucks. Jack in the Box actually paid someone to come up with the idea of putting fries and onion rings in the same bag. Yes, the thing that seems to naturally happen to almost every restaurant that serves both onion rings and fries. You’ve had it happen to you at least a dozen times when you’ve found a fry in your onion rings. Someone had the idea to combine those together and sell it. The idea in itself isn’t so bad as restaurants have been doing it for quite some time. The oddity is that someone at their corporate office had to present the idea as if it were unique. What’s the worst part of this onion ring and fry combination? It was that they were called Frings. Come on, can’t you get any more original than that? Jack on the Box customers doesn’t need to fret over the fact that this menu item is long gone. If you really want some Frings, just order an onion ring and a fries. Mix up the two side dishes and feel like you’re a culinary artist. Don’t say the word Frings around your friends, or they’ll think you need to be put in a straightjacket and committed. Just trust us on that one.
2. Burger King Enormous Omelet Sandwich
Anyone fortunate enough to order breakfast at Burger King knows they have some of the tastiest morning grub around. Who can deny that their CROISSAN’WICH is one of the most delicious breakfast sandwiches of all time? It can stand toe to toe with McDonald’s McMuffin any day of the week. Yes, we know those are fighting words to some people. No one is saying that one is better than the other. Settle down and don’t get all heated up in the comment section. We’re just saying that the CROISSAN’WICH and all the other Burger King breakfast sandwiches are some mighty fine eating. What was the problem with Burger King’s Enormous Omelet Sandwich? Well, it was enormous. Could that be a problem in today’s world of supersize everything? It apparently was to Burger King customers who felt that the sandwich should come with a life insurance policy. We won’t bore you with all the nutritional information for the sandwich. If you wanted health food, you’d graze alongside one of Burger King’s cattle and eat grass for breakfast. Let’s just say that the sandwich packed far too many calories than what the average fast-food customer can stomach. That’s saying a lot, but anyone who expects differently from a sandwich that has enormous in its name has lost touch with reality.
1. McDonald’s Arch Deluxe
Do you ever go to McDonald’s and want a more sophisticated burger? No, you don’t. No one does, and McDonald’s didn’t realize that. The ’90s were ripe with companies doing all kinds of crazy stuff that makes people scratch their heads to this day. Fruitopia? Was that just a knock off of Snapple? Let’s not get into that debate here as we’re looking to pick a fight with anyone. However, McDonald’s whiffed big-time with its Arch Deluxe sandwich. Sure, it was a flavor bomb of satisfaction for anyone who was seeking sophistication. The problem is, no McDonald’s customer is seeking such a thing. Are you reading this in a country outside of the United States of America? If so, then you may have seen the Arch Deluxe on the menu at your local McDonald’s. What does that say about the people of your country? It means that you’re ready for McDonald’s to get all sophisticated on you. Anyone who can get the Arch Deluxe should consider themselves living in an advanced country where the palates of people are refined. The sandwich sticks out as a dud since McDonald’s spent so much money promoting it. Should they have seen this coming? You can’t blame Ronald McDonald for wanting to expand the flavor horizons of his customers. You can however wonder if he got a little too close to the grill before thinking it was a good idea to release this sandwich to the public. Who knows, maybe fifty years down the line, we’ll all be sophisticated enough to enjoy this culinary masterpiece.